Miss Smarty Pants and Co

Alma 56: 47-48

2011-04-12T17:22:00.003-06:00


This picture arrangement was put together and given to me by my Mother-In-Law. It is beautiful isn't it? From left to right: Me, My Mom Kristi, My Grandma Josephina Giuseppe Maria Natelli, My Great Grandmother Barbra Maio Natelli.

The wording in the middle is taken from Alma 56: 47-48

"... They had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, god would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our Mothers knew it..."

"I have mentioned my Grandma before. She kept a very consistent journal during the latter part of her life. She has been on my mind a lot this past couple of weeks. It seems like whenever I face adversity I feel her near me. I draw upon the simple faith that she had, and passed onto my Mom. In almost every entry she speaks of her faith. Here is an example of simple faith.

"...yesterday was one of the most worthless day that I have ever spent. I didn't accomplish anything, and last night I felt so worthless that I could hardly say my prayers. While I was getting into bed the thought came to me to get my day started dedicating my first hour at least, to the Lord. I know when I do this it makes my day 100% better. Just saying my prayers in the morning is not enough, I know I must do some of the things we have been told to do. Writing in my Journal is one the things we are always told to do." ~ Grandma 09-16-1984

The following entry made me giggle, because I can hear her saying it now, and even more funny, I can hear my Mom saying it. Grandma would roll over in her grave if she saw the junk my husband eats!

"...I'm thankful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints, and that the Lord has given us the Word of Wisdom, however, I'm disgusted with myself for buying candy and cola drinks that are also harmful. I am going to have to start praying much more and fasting to overcome these bad habits"

~ Grandma

The following entry that I will share, I believe, is the one that I was supposed to find today. It led me to some very important information, that I will be needing.

"After I got up this morning I read a chapter in the Bible, it was the last chapter in Malachi. In the 4th, 5th and 6th Verses it says ...Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he shall turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.... It makes me very sorrowful that people don't understand these versus. They are so plain and yet the majority of the people don't understand them or don't want to understand that Elijah is speaking of doing genealogy and temple work for our dead who have not received the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.

During this last General Conference I was reminded that there is to be a Temple in Rome, Italy. The dedication is in about 2 years. When I heard this I thought "I want to go". Later that day I saw my Mom and she said she wanted me to start saving so we could go to Rome for the temple dedication. I really think that we both had this thought from inspiration.

My Grandma is a first generation Italian American. Her Parents immigrated to the USA and had 12 or 13 kids. They came from Gioi, Salerno, Italy. As a young navy wife my grandmother who was raised devote catholic, catholic school and all... had a cute little Mormon couple as nieghbors. She admired them. They were loving and sweet. It was because of them that she became an investigator of the Church. She joined shortly after, her husband never did neither did any of her extended family.

Before my Grandma died she did as much Temple Work as she could, but she didn't have the technology that we have now. Since her death she has had more siblings die. Today after I read my Grandma's entry about Elijah I ran a Google search on the name Natelli. Immediately I found the obituary for her sister Madeline. She died 1 year and 3 days ago. I am pretty sure she and my Grandma want her work done. This inspiration has been coming in waves during the last month or so, bit by bit, and today it all made sense. I often feel like I have little talents, and I wonder what is my purpose in life. I know now I do have a job to do. I am actually very talented at researching, I have been since I was young. I need to use my talent to find my Grandma's family and get their work done. It won't be easy, and it will for sure require a trip or two to Italy, but it is something I am going to do.

My Grandma was just one woman with great and simple faith and she has built a posterity of faithful members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Even from the other side she is still sharing the gospel and teaching it. She needs her family to carry on her work. It amazes me that one woman can build a small kingdom through faith, inspiration and obedience.

Pulmonologist.

2011-04-06T00:48:00.000-06:00

This was my update last night on my facebook:

Today went really well. Pulmonary Dr. was very optimistic that the mass is nothing to worry about! I will just get one more scan in 6 months. he was way more concerned with my asthma, I had treatment in the office, got a script and was sent on my way smiles all around! I wish I could have the last month back, but I can't,however I learned a lot about myself and realized how blessed I am. Thanks for all the kind words, thoughts and prayers.

I have been emotionally and mentally paralyzed for a month. The relief I felt today has been nothing short of a miraculous burden lifted from my GUTS. It has been a very lonely month, I won't lie. Wes was gone 2 weeks during all this because of work. He hated it, it was so hard for him. He was gone for my birthday so I drove myself to my C-Scan that day. Of course my Mom called me that day, and Wes, but nobody else. I prayed so hard for someone to call me to get my mind off what was happening. My Birthdays never have been easy, and I was so scared, call it superstitious but I was scared I was going to learn I was dieing on my birthday. I am so grateful for Juli, for coming to check on me so often when she knew I was too distraught to answer my phone, and to my angel cousin Hayley for calling me and helping me get a grip on my thoughts, I am thankful to Linda for messaging me and sending me her love, and her daughter Hayley for sending me thoughts of understanding, I am so grateful for Kara, who caught me after church and gave me a hug, and for Tara who watched Sophie, and of course for my family ( Mom, Dad, sisters, and Wes' parents) for being worried and loving me, and of course Wes who did everything in his power to comfort me, and to my wonderful home teacher who showed up with Papa Murphy's one night, he and his wife have no idea how much it meant to me that night. Wes was gone on business and all I could do was pray "please help me, please help me" while trying to stay strong for my kids. I am thankful for the invaluable visit I had with my Grandparents. My Grandpa has cancer, and I haven't seen him much at all in the last 3 years. I was prompted to go see them, and I walked away 2 hours later with an over whelming feeling of peace. He told me of great people who had faced great adversity with dignity and who were blessed. We talked about Joseph Smith in liberty Jail. We talked about how the Lord will never, ever forsake you even in the worst of circumstance. We talked about my Dad and the adversity that he has conquered. He went 17 years away from the church and has now been back for 3 and is in a Bishopric. He is a pure example of what the Atonement of Jesus Christ is for and how beautiful it is. I walked away from their house feeling like no matter what, the Lord would do what was right, regardless of the outcome. It's always amazing to look back and see something that you thought was so horrible to begin with, prove to be such a life altering lesson. As soon as I left my Grandparents, on my 2 hour drive home I prayed. I prayed the whole way. Something powerful happened, that I compare to my moment of conversion which I will share someday. Up until that day in prayers I was praying for a miracle, please help me not to have cancer, please, please....help me to live. In the prayer while I was driving I felt a peace come over me and I really really truly submitted to the Lords will. I submitted my life to his will...it was so hard, but so peaceful at the same time. I let him take my burden, and I thought about Gethsemane and the pain he suffered personally for my pain and anguish. From that day on, I wasn't sure if I felt peace because my mass was nothing or if I felt peace because it was something, but that I would be OK. Yesterday I got my answer.

Immediately after my appointment yesterday, I wanted my 30 days back! Today, I am grateful for all that I learned and for my ever growing testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and for yet again another personal witness that Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ know me, they know what I need to learn, they know my fears and pain and they guide me to peace.

I didn't expect to record all this tonight, I hope it makes sense, it is all still very raw. I tired, and maybe a bit drained, but my spirit is renewed and I am ready to move on. I am blessed. ~E

Today couldn't come soon enough!

2011-04-04T10:50:00.000-06:00

For a couple reasons today just couldn't come soon enough! I will get to that in a few. First I must mention this weekend.

It was one of my favrite weekends of the year. General Confrence! Sadly I missed saturday's 2 sessions because we had some shopping to do. Thankfully for modern technology I can download all the talks to my Ipad! I did listen to both Sunday sessions. They were wonderful. During the last message from our Prophet, President Monson, I found myself wishing for more. I love to feel so spiritually uplifted, I truley needed it this weekend.

I also found time to finish a book I have been trying to finish for over a year. I really liked it. Here is my review.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really loved this book. The narration is very unique, as the Narrator is Death. Death is merely an observer of the human race; who has the job of relieving souls from their earthly life. Death tries very hard to remain emotionally neutral, however when he first meets Liesel, a 9 year old German girl in Nazi Germany, during WWII, he is captivated by her soul. He follows her through out her life intrigued by her strength and resilience during what seems like one of the darkest times this earth had up to that point seen.

This book was an emotional read. It was so real that sometimes I held my breath while reading it. It was sad, sweet and inspirational. 5 out of 5 for me.

View all my reviews

Now for today.

Today is Wes' new day in his position with Sara Lee. Forgive me, I am not quite sure what his offical title is, but I do know that he is a Key Account Manager. We have known about this change for quite a while, so we are so happy it is finally here! I am so proud of him. He has had his eyes on this positions for years. He can now check it off his list!

As for me. It has been a month since I first heard the word cancer. Today is the day I go see a specialist. Hoping for the Doc to look at the c-Scan and x-rays and say it is all nothing. Expecting him to say, not sure let's schedule more tests. I am just glad this waiting is over. Even if I don't get a definitive answer, at least I can ask some questions! I feel at peace, pretty sure Heavenly Father has been carrying me for the last month. I am indeed grateful. I have felt every prayer offered for my sake and will gladly accept more. Thanks Friends. ~E

FHE: Dinner and a Movie

2011-03-29T11:18:00.000-06:00

Last night for Family Home Evening we took the kiddos out for Chinese food and a movie, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." Going out for dinner and going to movies are two of our favorite activities so it was double fun. Dinner was good and the movie was hilarious! It does have a bit of potty humor, but, if you know my family that is funny. The biggest impression that was left with me as I walked out of the theatre wasn't all of the humor or the clever story, it was the very subtle notion of having a diary.

Everyone should have a diary or a journal kids and adults alike. I remember my first diary. It was no bigger than 3x5 and it locked. My Mom started for me when I was an infant. She wrote all kinds of stories about me up until I could write myself. Then when I was 8 I got one for my baptism, I think I was pretty good at writing in it. When I turned 12 I got my last one that I can remember. I mostly only wrote in it when I was piping mad at my parents about this or that, or when friends were being mean and probably a bit about boys...mostly drama ( I was a normal teenager).

Unfortunately, I don't have any of these journals. They were all destroyed in the Tornado. Because of this I am feeling a bit of an urgency to try to remember some of those stories, so that my children and their children will have them.

My Grandma Joan started keeping a faithful journal when she was in her early 50's. When she died she left about 10 really good journals. Being able to look back and read her journals has been such a learning experience for me. She documented her conversion to the church when she was a young navy wife with a few little babies. She documented her testimony not only formally, but every single day as she talked about her prays, faith and blessings. She documented her struggles and her pains, and how the Lord never turned his back on her.

I had an exceptionally hard pregnancy with Hayden. Through out I kept a pretty extensive journal. In it I kept a good record of what happened during his birth, we both almost died. I lost the journal in the tornado, but I was blessed because I can look back in my grandma's journal to the week of the birth and she recorded a whole bunch of things about it. Things that I had forgotten. That is one of those Tender Mercies that the Lord has blessed me with.

So here I am starting over with my Journals. I plan to use this blog, 1: because it can't fly away and 2: it's convenient. Some of the memories I blog may not have any value to strangers or friends, but maybe like the entries from my Grandma's Journal about Hayden's birth, something will mean something to someone in my family when I am long gone. Consider this my first entry. Hopefully I will be diligent in my efforts and my mind will be clear so I can remember the important things. ~E

Focus.

2011-03-25T10:14:00.000-06:00

Staying focused has got to be one of my biggest challenges. I really do have a mind that wanders away if I let it. For me, right now, I am holding to focus with a death grip.

Test.
I have 2 tests today. One on Adolescent Development and one on GPS, GIS and statistics. I need focus for the latter, because I was not at all interested in it. I have had a really hard time focusing on my school lately. However, I am so glad I am going. I am proud of myself for taking the initiative to go back, it is a priceless lesson that I am teaching my kids about getting an education, the same lesson my Mom taught me.

Today.
I spoke to one of my dearest friends this week, Hayely. She is actually one of my best friends from High school and happens to be my 1st cousin. She is one of those friends who, even with no contact for over 10 years, I can speak to as if I have every day for 10 years. She helped me with my focus. Focus to live in the present, the now. I have a tendency to get ahead of myself, and when I do so, I start panicking. So today I am enjoying this snowy day and sipping Hot Chocolate with my little Sophie.

Results.
There is a well defined non-calcified nodule present in the right lung, lower lobe. 7mm X 3mm thick.
This is the news I got 2 weeks ago. I will see a lung doctor April 4th. Most likely he will just schedule more tests. I am trying really hard to be positive. Focus is the key. Focus on today, on my positive thoughts. Focus on my husband who is very positive and has no doubt that I am fine. Focus on being a good Mom, Focus on my blessings, Focus on the deep breath that I am taking today.

Focus, Focus...Focus.

Quick Update

2011-03-15T10:02:00.000-06:00

Well, last week was not the bomb! Wes was away on business for 6 days, and that was not as easy as it used to be. He is just such a huge part of my happiness!! I missed him. I wrapped up my Doctor supervised diet with my GP and Psychologist, however I am not submitting my paperwork for a month at least. I am going to see a specialist for my lungs first, I would hate to have surgery before my lungs are well. That is all for now. Have a happy day!

Powerful.

2011-03-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

I awoke to this news (with the rest of the world).

These Photos hold such power in them. Sadly, I remember when the Tsunami hit Thailand years ago and I was amazed by the pictures that I saw, fascinated by the damage done; however, now pictures of devastation are very personal for me. These pictures are all over the news today and will be for the next few weeks; eventually the story will loose it's shock factor and the world will move on to new stories. Japan will not recover so quickly. This kind of devastation I am sure will take over a decade to mend. Not just the infrastructure, but the hearts and souls of the Japanese people will need to be healed. It's such an amazing feeling, literally helplessness sets in when you realize just how vulnerable you are as a human being, and you are forever changed. This earth we live on is much more powerful than anything that we can ever come up against. Please, if you are reading this, no matter what higher power you believe in, pray for Japan and it's people, pray to express gratitude for your safety, and don't take for granted your own stability and security's because like mine were taken away in 30 seconds almost 3 years ago, and Japans was gone in 2 minutes today, you never know when you will loose yours.

33.

2011-03-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how I feel today. Honestly, a bit scared. I am having the C-Scan done on my lung today of all days, funny how that happens. If you know me very well you will know that I have terrible Birthday anxiety, I don't know why! I just pray that today I can get passed that issue by getting the results of a clean C-Scan. It would be a very nice Birthday Gift. I really dislike this life flashing before your eyes feeling, 1pm can not come fast enough. I am probably worrying about nothing, right? Funny how life can change so quickly, last week I am worrying about some petty situation and this week there is real cause for concern. Lesson learned, no more worrying about silly things, such a waste of time. WOW, who knew you gained such wisdom at 33;)

Wes is out of town on a business trip, he felt so bad. His dad gave me a nice priesthood blessing last night, I am so grateful for that. It helped me sleep. Poor Wes is really sad he isn't here. He has been extra sweet by getting me a cake Sunday, and I got roses delivered from him yesterday. I am a lucky girl.

Girls Weekend!!!

2011-03-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

I have the privilege to go on a getaway with a bunch of other Mommies this weekend! I need it so bad, it couldn't come at a better time. Wes has been fabulous to let me go. He is assuring me he can handle getting the kiddos ready for a 9 AM baptism in the morning, he is an angel!

I am looking forward to:

Bonding time with old Friends

Moving forward with new friends

Eating Juli's delicious Navajo Tacos

Playing some fun games

Movies

Laughing, Laughing and Laughing!!

I am Truly Blessed with friends who stick by me through the good times and the not so good.

Bear Lake here we COME!!

Rollercoaster!

2011-03-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

WOW! I feel like my head is spinning. February was crazy busy, and March is in the running to be even more busy! The fact that I got sick last week has been a bit of a shake up as well. My emotions have been up and down and up again.

     Just over a week ago I started having chest pain. I let it bother me for 3 days, and after it was really bad Friday night I decided I should go in to the ER. I was thinking maybe a blood clot. After the work up the DR. came in and said it was pneumonia. I shouldn't have been surprised because I have a long history of pneumonia. But I thought I was safe because I got a Pneumonia shot. Last year after the last time I had it my GP thought it was starting to get a bit suspicious, so she made an appointment for me with a lung specialist she wanted to rule out the possibility of cancer. Just the word freaked me out. I should not worry cause I don't smoke and never have been around it, but, I cleaned houses for 12 years breathing in bleach and phosphorus on a regular basis, so actually I have damaged my lungs. I was so worried, I didn't show at the appointment. I didn't want to hear bad news. That was last May. So Monday, here I was again with pneumonia and the pain seemed to be getting worse. I went into instacare and the Dr. added a few more meds. Then he told me because of my lack of symptoms, no fever, no cold or cough and increasing pain he was moved to think it could be cancer. That word "CANCER", oh the horror. He said that he would rather wait and see what the antibiotic did, because it only costs 20 bucks opposed to 1500 for the C-scan. He believed if it was cancer it could wait 3 weeks for the C-Scan. I went home and was in shock. Every time I looked at Sophie I would tear up. First thing in the morning I was at my GP's office without an appointment. My Dr. got me right in, and yes this is the one that I had a problem with a bit ago. She was fabulous. She went through everything, one thing we realized is my pneumonia was on the right side, no body ever told me this. The pain is all on the left! I have never been so happy to hear a possible diagnosis of shingles, I can handle that better than cancer. Anyway, I don't have shingles. I have a very bad muscle strain that happened in Vegas when I was carrying heavy bags while shopping! I am still going to the specialist, and the right lung will be x-rayed again in 4 weeks to make sure I am clear. If I am not I will have the C-scan. For now, I am living life with out worry. There is a set back though. I was planning on having surgery in 4 weeks (gastric bypass) it will be put on hold for a bit. I have to go into it with healthy lungs. OK, so how boring!! I applaud whom ever is still reading.

       Every day counts, who knows, just because I don't have cancer today, I could get in an accident tomorrow. Life is short, my rollercoaster ride has been a good reminder of that. I choose to make every day count as a good one, I choose good friends who build me up and eliminate drama. I choose to love my family with all my heart...and to tell them at least 10 times a day. I am so thankful for today! ~E

Spread the Word to End the Word.wmv

2011-03-03T08:42:00.001-07:00

The r-word is offensive on so many levels, when used not only does it shows lack of depth and character, but complete disregard for the beauty of one of gods Creations. Think before you speak. ~E

Amazing.

2011-03-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

This weeks assignment in SPED was to read the following article "Amazing" Reprinted with permission of the Helen Dwight Reid Educational Foundation, from RE:view, Volume 29, number 3, Fall, 1997, published by Heldref Publications 1319 18th St., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20036-1802.

AMAZING...
Have you ever been called a saint? It used to happen to me regularly. Every time I was picked up by a cab at the Helen Keller National Center in Sands Point, New York, the driver would eventually say something like, "You must be a saint to work with those people. It is so amazing what they can do."
Those of you who know me will readily attest to the fact that I am no saint! Like all of us, I come to work every day and try to do the best that I can with the tools and resources available. Sometimes I manage really well; at other times nothing seems to go right. So, if I'm not a saint, does that mean that the people with disabilities with whom I work are not amazing?
The print and TV media have called Christopher Reeve a miracle because he has gotten on with his life despite his accident and severe disability. Is this just another example of the news media's quest for a story and publicity hype that surrounds stars? Maybe, but it isn't going away. Every time Chris Reeve does something that would be expected of anyone else in his profession, he is described as "amazing."
That attitude crops up even closer to home. Recently someone working in an agency that serves people who are blind commented to a professional who is deaf-blind, "I just can't understand how you are able to get up every day and do the things you do."
What generates this attitude of amazement? Why shouldn't people who are deaf-blind or who have other severe disabilities do the things that we take for granted in everyone else? Why is it amazing that they get up and go to work every day? Why is it amazing that they can use a cab? Why is it amazing that they fall in love and get married? Why is it amazing that they go to school and get an education? Those things are not just expected, but assumed, of everyone.
Are individuals with deaf-blindness and other disabilities somehow lesser people? To some degree this amazement is everywhere. It comes from an attitude that these people are unlike us and limited in their abilities; therefore, it is okay to expect less of them. Indeed we should expect less from them.
It is time for us not only to stop expecting less from people with disabilities, but to stop rewarding them for doing what everyone is expected to do as a full member of society. Let's not give them just the right to an accessible voting place but also the responsibility to go and vote.
How can our services help people with disabilities if our personal expectations are that only the amazing among our clients and students will be able to do what we take for granted in people without disabilities? In a way it is amazing that people with disabilities ever overcome those beliefs about themselves.
We need to eradicate that attitude from our profession and also to set the world straight. Expect people with disabilities to do. Expect them to use your cab, rent your apartment, come into your store. Be prepared to accommodate them just as you would any good customer.
We should save our amazement for something really appropriate. We need to look at people with disabilities as being basically like everyone else. Yes, sometimes they need our help, but most of us could use help from time to time. Underneath their infinite variety, human beings are the same with the same needs, desires, and dreams. If we truly see the value in all people, we will cease to be amazed when they show their individual worth.

My reply:

Amazing

In the article “Amazing” the author takes a very interesting opinion. She states “If we truly see the value in all people, we will cease to be amazed when they show their individual worth.”

This is a very bold statement. One that, I really have a strong inclination to disagree with. The Webster dictionary’s definition of “amazed” is as follows:

: to fill with wonder

The word “amazed” to me is just another word for inspiring. Let’s face it this world we live in is cold, and unresponsive, you could even say desensitized. In my opinion that desensitized attitude of our culture contributes to a hostile environment for pwd’s. Why in the world would we want to cut out the feeling of inspiration we get when we see a person who against the odds (because of the world we live in) does something admirable, or amazing.

Being a pwd, I look for amazing people to inspire me, to give me courage. My mental illness makes it hard for me to go out in public, while this is expected of pwod, putting the same expectation on me is very stressful. Not to say that I don’t go shopping, or go out to eat or other things, it just takes a bit more for me to go out, I have to ready myself mentally. When I go to the store, or out to run errands, it is “amazing” to me and I feel accomplishment. What is so wrong with that? What is wrong with being amazed with people who work with pwd’s, it is just another job, but, it is not one that people are running out to do. In fact SPED teachers are in high demand, what is not amazing about the job. I am also amazed by people who choose to get Doctorate Degrees…so what, it’s nice to be inspired.

I feel the author of this article has bought into the coldness of society, and is making a terrible judgment on people who are inspiring or being inspired.

Please share your opinions. ~E

Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?

2011-02-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

The "H" word

2011-02-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

This week in my SPED 1010 class one of my assignments was to read the following article then post a respose to how I felt about the position taken. It is a great article, which I think everyone should read if they want to be more socially aware of the words they choose.

http://www.thenthdegree.com/hword.asp

My response:

Being completely truthful, I didn't know that the "H" word was not an acceptable word. I read the article 4 times because I thought it was written so truthfully.I appreciate the authors opinion and the differences pointed out between the words.

I am not physically disabled, I am obese and because of that I have been handicap at certain times. For instance when I go to fly on a plane, the seat belt doesn't fit, or when I go to ride certain amusement rides, I weigh too much, or when I can't fit in a booth at a restaurant. I have also self imposed some handicaps on myself, like I never go swimming because I would have to put on a bathing suit.

To me there is a huge difference in the words, and actually I am not in love with either word. Frankly, I really don't like any word that is used to describe a person whether it is disabled, handicap, short or fat. Those words don't come close to defining a person. I like how the author put a person is a Teacher, Athlete, or in my opinion a Mother, a Scientist, a student....define a person by what they do , how they act, their abilities not by their appearance or condition.

Three Little Girls.....Sisters, Companions, Gaurdians and Forever Friends.

2011-02-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who has 3 sisters. One of the Sisters is lost. I don't know the all of the circumstance, but, I do know that the missing sister is battling serious addiction and has lost everything. As I communicate with and observe the other 3 sisters, my heart breaks for them, as they beg and plead for her safety through prayer, and they plead with her to come home on Facebook, not really knowing if she ever checks her Facebook.

I was thinking about it today, and of how painful it would be to loose one of my Sisters in a similar way. My relationship with my two little sisters is so unique. Only they know exactly what life was like growing up with the struggles we did, only they know the pains and happiness of our childhood the way I do. Only my sisters can love my children almost as much as I do, and I theirs. Sisters are a gift that I treasure dearly.

This is me and my family. Mom, Dad, Me in the back, Amber on the Left and Nat on the right. This picture survived the tornado, no unscathed, but still beautiful.

When ever I hear this song, it reminds me of my sisters. Love you Amber and Nat.

Winding Down

2011-02-23T13:44:00.001-07:00

February is winding down. I can't believe how fast time goes by, rather scary! So, here is a quick wrap-up for the month.

New Beginnings:

Every time I am invited to speak about my tornado experience, I always say this is the last time! However, every time I am asked, I feel a deep confirmation in my soul that my experience is unique and was not just for me, it was for me to share and hopefully touch others with the miracles I witnessed. That said, it still scares me to death. Earlier this month I was blessed with the opportunity to share again with a Lewiston Ward for their Young Woman's New Beginnings. You would think that after doing it 8 times I would be a pro and have it all memorized. This is not the case though. I thought I had it all planned out, but 3 hours before I had a strong impression to start over, I was FRAZZLED, to say the least. I rewrote everything, and used completely different conference talks than I usually use. Everything went really well. I am not sure still why I needed to switch it up, but I am sure it was the right thing to do.

Valentines/Las Vegas

Wes and I celebrated Valentines a week late this year. We decided to take a 5 day trip to Vegas, by ourselves! We had a great time. We laughed the whole time. We didn't have to worry about the kids because we knew they were in good hands, and they called us every 15 minutes the whole trip....last time we leave Hayden and Gracie each with a cell phone. While we were down there we went to several different hotels and walked around. We stayed at the Aria Hotel. It is right at the center of the strip and beautifully modern. Everything in our room was controlled by one remote. When we entered the room the drapes automatically opened. Very high tech. It was nice to be pampered for a few days.

School

Is still going! I am taking 9 credits. Rehab 1010, FCHD 1500 (Human Development over the Lifespan), and Life Science (USU1350?). I have been doing really well, I love all of my classes. I think going back to school has been one of my best decisions...ever, really. Besides marrying Wes, it is the number one life changing decision that I know I will never regret.

Diet/Health.

I am done with the supervised diet around March 7th. This doesn't mean I will stop weight watchers or anything. It just means I will be sending my paperwork for my bypass surgery in on March 9th (my birthday) I am at peace with what ever happens. I have done all I can do, if they reject it I am not sure if I will pursue it, I will still have the option to appeal. I have tremendous faith in my Heavenly Father, I know he will not abandon me and he knows what is best for me. I am so grateful for this knowledge. I pray daily, and I am adding a special fast to the cause over the next couple of Sundays. I know I will be blessed either way.

March

Will be here before we know it! I am looking forward to a girls weekend. It's always fun to play. My birthday is on the 9th, Wes will be on a snowmobiling trip for work that whole week so we will be celebrating early. Then the following week he will be on a golf trip for a week, for work; so I am not sure I will see him the whole month. When he is home he will probably be tied up with High Council duties. I am so glad we got away this month. I will miss him, no matter how I feel he always makes me laugh. He is my best friend and a rock star to boot.

No. Anything but that word.

2011-02-16T14:46:00.001-07:00

I went to see my GP for my monthly Medical Diet Check-in. One of the last things we talked about was my worsening Diabetes. I told her I was surprised that it was all the sudden going down hill so quickly. Her response was this:

Well, You're Fat.

Duh, really? The whole phrase hit me like a Mac Truck. It hurt. Especially because she knows my situation, she knows I am doing everything in my power to fight this disease called obesity. That's what it is you know, a chronic illness, that may eventually take my life.

I am not FAT.

I am smart.
I am sensitive.
I am shy.
I am spiritual.

I suffer from obesity. You don't tell a cancer patient they are cancer. You don't tell a person with a learning disability they are dumb. What we look like or what conditions we have does not in any way define what we ARE.

She knew she said something WRONG, because the tears just flowed. She apologized. She FELT bad. Next time she WILL think twice.

I am still really emotional. I hope the tears will go away soon.

Took the Plunge

2011-02-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

Really I did. I finally went to water aerobics to see how my feet would do. Sadly they hurt just as bad as with any other workout; however, it was so fun. I loved it. My good friend Juli had pity on me and came too, and she made it really fun. I have been a bit stressed out because curves in our town is closing. So, I need to find another exercise option that won't be hard on my feet.

A quick side note for those who don't know about my feet. I have Chronic Plantar Fasciitis. I have had it for about 9 years. Because I ignored it for 8 years and kept exercising and running it has just about rendered me crippled. I also have complications of stress fractures in my feet and ankles, and some of those have actually broken. I have some big orthopedic boots to wear, but they really slow me down. If the Dr. had his wish I would be in a wheel chair. I am actually legally disabled. Sucks. The cause of this is an array of bad physical luck. Of course I am overweight. When the Dr. looks at my bone structure he says it is tiny, so the weight is crushing my feet, because my ligaments in my feet are weak so there is nothing to protect my bones from crushing. Also, I have a flat arch and have not worn the right supports my whole life so without support my ankles are weak. Hayden and Sophie both have my feet, so I am trying to take steps to make sure they have the right shoes and most likely they will always need orthodic support. That was a much longer side note...sorry. But, all these factors are why I am so urgently, desperately trying to get the weight loss surgery. I am going back to my podiatrist next week, and I may be walking out with a cane....excuse my language but it really is the shits. I can't do much, so I am hiring a housekeeper to try and alleviate some of my stress. I have to pick and choose what I do physically, and I need to exercise to save my life rather than clean. Enough said.

My thoughts for today are:

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Gracie playing some B-Ball

2011-02-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

Forgivness is...

2011-02-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

Something that is a part of our everyday lives, whether it's you giving it, or you receiving it. This video inspires me every time I watch it. Please take 8 minutes to watch it.

On My Mind

2011-02-05T13:08:00.000-07:00

Facebook: It can be a total waste of time; however, today I am so thankful for a connection I have made with a family of girls that used to babysit myself and my sisters when we lived in New Mexico. It has been such an amazing thing to get reacquainted with them again. Sadly they are going through some hard times and have asked for prayers today. As I thought and pondered what I could do for them being so far away, I realized I could help. I called a list of names into several LDS Temples to have them added to the Prayer Rolls. I am so grateful for technology that allows me to act quickly and be of some help even when I am not right there.

Things To Look Forward To: There are several! In a week I have the privelage to go speak to a Young Womens group for their New Begginings Program. I am super excited, although it scares me to death. I realize that Heavenly Father expects me to share my unique testimony.

In 2 weeks, Wes and I are headed to Vegas. Now, I really don't love Vegas, but his favorite band is playing so we must go see them. I think we will take in a show, if we can find a clean one. All suggestions are welcome.

Gracie has a basketball game today!! They are so fun to go to!

Weight Watchers: I went this morning, it was not easy! I wanted to sleep, and of course everyone slept in, which made it harder to get up. I went, and I am glad. I stayed the same weight to the ounce. Which sucked for 5 seconds, then I just move on.

Diabetes: It is such an ugly thing. So, I have been on this strict diet for months. You would think my health would be getting better. Unfortunately, new blood work and symptoms are proving other wise. Kind of a hard hit for me. I believe I will be on insulin with-in the next month. I was on 2 different insulin meds 6 times a day while pregnant with Sophie, so it won't be anything new. I am just sad my pancreas is taking a down turn. At least I can seek treatment and there are more options.

My Chores: I better get to it! Have a good weekend.~E

Therapy

2011-02-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

I went to my psychologist this week. He had given me an assignment to journal 10 things that I like to do to decompress, and 10 things I dislike doing. My list is as follows:

Like To Do-

Read- anything, news, fiction, non-fiction, blogs...phonebooks, ;)
Exercise- not something I can do real easily with broken feet, but I improvise. I meditate and imagine myself running a marathon. I know I will someday.
Cook
Decorate- as long as conditions are right, the house is clean and peaceful, so my creative juices can flow.
Blog
Take a nice hot bath in my jetted tub, with a good book of course.
Go to the Movies with Wes- If you have ever seen the movie Date Night, Wes and I are the couple that is played by Tina Fey and Steve Carell, we love to watch people and roll play their conversations
I like to take naps with Gracie by my side.
I like to watch old TV shows on my Ipod or pad with headphones on snuggled up in my bed.
I like going to lunch.

Dislikes-

Talking on the phone- hate it! I have never liked the phone, ever just ask my mother.
Baking, I am really good at it, the problem is that I am really good at it and usually one bite is never enough.
Cleaning
Shopping- any kind
watching movies twice
paying bills
taking tests
mushrooms
fair-weather friends
Pride

As I was going through my list with the DR. he noticed that on some of the items I would giggle nervously and apologize for liking or disliking. That turned out to be the topic of the conversation for the day.

He feels like I lack in self -confidence, which I totally see, as soon as he points it out to me. And after one thing led to another we established that I have a major trust issue with the whole world. It's a pretty hard thing to have to face. I even have trouble trusting myself. We went through some of my issues that I have had through out my life. Unfortunatly the last 3 years have been pretty hard for me. Wes loosing a job he loved, loosing a house I had dreamt about, being hurt deeply by a few friends, and now fighting with yet another insurance company...

It has also been established through therapy that I am a narcissist, I tend to only see the bad. Or magnify the bad.

Although the session was very hard for me, I am thankful for the progress that I made. I have to also mention that I am grateful again for tender mercies. The night before my session I decided on a whim that I was going to start memorizing the scripture mastery scriptures from seminary. The first set I turned to was Proverbs 3:5-6

‎5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

These 2 scriptures helped prepare me for a very hard reality check that was about to occur the next morning. I have no doubt that I was prompted to read them and ponder them that night.

Life is no easy feat, but, if you look hard enough it is blessed with tender mercies along the way. ~E

Supervised Diet

2011-02-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

Diet is still going. I have lost 7 lbs this month, which is fine. I really like the new Weight watchers program. I don't have a problem keeping my food at or under the points value, I just have to avoid bread and sugar and it's pretty simple. I never use my exercise point or my weekly allowance. I went to my GP and she doesn't think I eat enough, and it really bothered her that I am so over weight and eat less than your average Joe. Oh well, bad thyroid, diabetes and what ever else can make it hard to have a metabolism. I am going to curves as much as I can, my feet really hurt after my work outs but I have to hang in there because I love exercise. The last part of this process is seeing a therapist which I am doing several times a month. I think i will blog about that in a separate post.

So, although I am not blogging everything that enters my mouth I am tracking it else where. I am not even close to giving up this fight. This is the year for change, whether it happens on weight watchers, or through surgery...this is it!

1-15-11 WW's Meeting

2011-01-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

Well in 1 month off weight watchers I am down 3.8 pounds. This week I had a loss of 1.6. Truthfully speaking, not enough lost. But at least I didn't gain.

Today at the meeting we discussed eating more power foods. Power foods are those foods that take longer to digest and give you more bang for your buck on the calorie side of things. I shared how I made beef and broccoli stir-fry from scratch. It was a 5 point serving meal, however, I tripled the amount of broccoli (power food) which made the point value even lower. The goal this week is to bulk up meals with power foods.

1-14-11 Food Journal

2011-01-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

I actually am doing this a day late because I woke up super irritable yesterday, and I didn't feel like blogging. All I really wanted yesterday was to sit and eat doughnuts, seriously. In my mind that is what would have helped me be happy. Truthfully, it had nothing to do with the actual doughnut, I really think it was just the idea of rebelling against myself.

I attribute my bad mood to the fact that I was just exhausted. The last 2 weeks have been draining. Wes has been working a ton, and I have had sick kids home, while I was sick myself. Add to it that I started back to school last week and the it is yucky outside and that is a recipe for disaster. On the bright side I did well with my food yesterday!

8- two slices of ham, orange
11- peppermint/dandelion tea, hard boiled egg
12- cottage cheese mixed with yogurt
2- apple, fiber one bar
3.5- 3 pieces of bread and some butter
My suger dropped really low, because I ate the fiber one bar without a protien. So in order to get it back up quickly I had to eat white bread...boo.

7- beef and broccoli stir-fry and brown rice
9- Wes and Gracie went for a treat run and I really tried to resist but, I ended up eating a butterfinger.

Points allowed: 43 Points used: 36

1-13-2011

2011-01-13T11:30:00.001-07:00

I got started late today so, my alarms will go off at 8 am, 11 am, 2 pm with dinner at 6 pm and a snack later.

8: yogurt (2p)
9: curves, 30 min
11: 2 eggs, sausage (16p)
I had planned to allow 2 pieces of sausage at 4 points each, but 15 minutes after I ate I was getting ready to sit down and get going on my homework and I popped another piece in my mouth, damn. I only did it to delay doing my homework, I wasn't hungry, It happened just way too fast. Next time I need to at least look for a piece of fruit instead. Damn, Damn.

Snack: Apple, Diet Dr. Pepper ( I needed something to keep me awake while reading homework stuff)

2: Fiber one bar (3p) Hot Chocolate prepared with Almond Milk( kind of good) (5p)

Snack: Popcorn (3p)

6:green beans (0p) Lasanga (8p)

Total Points allowed: 43+4 activity= 47
Total consumed:42

1-12-11 Food Journal

2011-01-12T14:19:00.002-07:00

7 AM:

1 PM: Yogurt with 1/4 c of Low fat cottage cheese (3p)

Snack:

2 cups popcorn 1/2 tsp butter (2p)

I wasn't hungry I just ate because I was nervous about everything I needed to get done, This blog, put groceries away, change Sophie's Diaper Homework, dinner and cleaning. The popcorn was just some kind of a diversion or something.

3PM:
1 serving ham, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 1/2 tbsp butter and apple (7p) THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT 4PM OOPS.

5:30:
Zumba

7PM:
2 Pancakes with syrup (6p) slice of ham (1p) orange (0p)

Snack:
Suger Free homade Hot Cocoa with vanilla soy milk. (4p)

Grand Total:
43 points allowed, 10 exercise points allowed, 23 points used total. Obviously I didn't even eat half my points, I will however attribute that to the fact that I skipped morning breakfast and snack, that would at least account for 10. I will have to eat more tomorrow.

Therapy with Dr. Anderson

2011-01-12T14:11:00.001-07:00

Today I saw Dr. Anderson. We discussed my issue with food. I have a terrible relationship with it, I treat it as a lower priority, I eat when I feel like it, and by that time I am so hungry I overeat. So Dr. Anderson gave me homework. I am setting my alarms for 7 am, 10 am, 1 pm, 4 pm and 7 pm. Those are my appointments to eat. Just the same way you make appointments to go to the Doctor or go on a date. Food is to be come such a priority that I do it, I don't think about it. I eat food so that I have energy and so that my body can be fueled...PERIOD. No emotions involved.

He asked asked me to journal what I eat when I eat, and other times in between when I feel hungry. I am to journal what triggered my hunger. Although I am also keeping track with my weight watchers, I plan to do it on my blog as well.

Final Project for Psy 1220

2010-04-28T18:39:00.001-06:00

This Project caused me a lot of stress. It is a paper on my definition of Success written in letter form to my Children. I struggled because I couldn't really wrap my head around what my definition is. It's a great question to really ask yourself and think about.

Erin Godfrey

Success Project

The purpose of this letter is for me to express my knowledge, opinions and lessons learned in creating success in all that I do through out life. Hopefully by reading this letter my posterity will get to know who I am, and how I define success; and how I implement it in my life.

While contemplating how to define success in life and career, I asked several people what they thought being successful was. By doing this I realized everyone has their own definition. Success is a very personal thing, we all have different aspirations, hopes, fears, trials and dreams. What may be right for one, will not be right for another.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

Helen Keller

Helen Keller's definition of success is beautiful. It is very true to who I am and how I would define it. In my world things have not always been easy, this I am so grateful for. I have many experiences to help shape and mold my Goals and Life Plan. I am learning to chose to be happy, no matter the circumstance of the day. I am going to College so that I can be educated and set an example for my kids. My idea of Success is achieving the goal of raising a happy, well adjusted family. In the following paragraphs I will dive deep into 3 Core Beliefs that I feel are so very important to develop in order to achieve my personal success in my life as a whole.

Accepting Personal Responsibility for the outcome of our life is the first Core Belief that I find so vital to achieving the goals we set for ourselves. On May 25, 2008 I was 8 months pregnant with my third child Sophie. Hayden was 9 and Gracie was 7. It was a typical Sunday evening, my husband Wes was snoozing on the couch as I was cooking dinner. The kids were quietly playing and doing homework. Within 30 minutes time my life went from perfectly normal to perfectly chaotic. I went from living in the home of my dreams and having pretty much everything I ever wanted to being left homeless with only the clothes on my back due to a record breaking 205 mi per hour winds of a tornado that flattened my home and blew away most of my belongings. While standing on the lawn looking at the devastation around me I knew I had a choice to make. I could choose to let this horrific event ruin my life by allowing myself to be a victim of the tornado or I could choose to overcome the trial and better myself because of it. I chose the latter and have benefited greatly because of that choice. By taking Personal Responsibility I have created an outcome of gratitude for the blessings and miracles that I witnessed, I recognize that ,though, one of the hardest things I have gone through in my 32 years of life it has strengthened me in ways that were not possible without the trial and devastation of the tornado.

"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."

Eleanor Roosevelt

The second Core Belief that I value as an important role to my success is Self-Motivation. Without it we live from day to day, with no plans or goals insight; by which it makes accomplishment something we never know. Feeling Accomplishment promotes such important things as Happiness and Self-Worth. You must set goals and make a plan. Then the fun part; Visualize yourself accomplishing your goals this will make for great Self-Motivation. As of late, one of my goals is to get my Degree. I have set up mini goals and written out a 5 year plan to help myself achieve this. I visualize the day I get my degree often, I feel the feelings of happiness and this helps me to stay motivated.

"Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The third important Core-Belief that I would like to make note of is Self- Awareness. I have made my choice to be Personally Responsible, I have set my goals and recognized my motivation to achieve those goals, but reality sets in and I start to digress...STOP, recognize self-sabotage, learn to recognize self-defeating habits that could potentially take you off the course of accomplishing your goals. Most important learn how to get back on course. We are all living by life rules, whether they are self-empowering or self-destructive. It is important to recognize your rules and make new ones that are self-empowering and let go of the not-so-good ones. My rules are derived from the words of Gordon B. Hinkley, they are as follows:

"Be grateful, be smart, be clean, be true, be humble, be prayerful."
Gordon B. Hinckley Way to Be! : 9 Rules For Living the Good Life)

There are many more Core Beliefs that you can form to help in creating a successful well-rounded life, the three I have chosen to highlight are beliefs that are important and personal to me. Not because they happen to be strengths for me but actually because they are all very challenging for me which in the long run make them the most full-filling and beneficial to how I create my own Successful life. My hopes is that this letter will cause self-reflection if not inspiration, and help lead my posterity "On Course".

My Grade: Thanks you Erin for this assignment. I seldom give the whole 100 points but I thought the manner in which you completed this paper was excellent. You followed the directions and included some personal experiences for each of the strategies used!

Congrats!

Bob

100/100

In the Words of Gracie

2010-04-06T16:19:00.001-06:00

I am posting two of Gracies recent writings. The first is a paper she had to write in school. It is written as a letter to her Hero. It caught me off guard for a couple of reasons. First it has been a while since I have heard her talk about the Tornado and second she has never expressed her thoughts on the subject of of our home teacher Jason. It is such a sweet letter I thought I would post it so that it will be somewhere digital incase I ever lose it or if I choose to send it to Jason.

The second writing, her notes from Genral Confrence on Easter. They were cute too. Enjoy. ~E

Where to start?

2010-03-31T16:55:00.000-06:00

Blogging has taken the back burner in my life. Kind of sad cause it is the only form of journaling I do. Every time I think about doing it, the thought "your so boring, what do you have to write about" rolls though my head. Hopefully though, now that it has been a month maybe I can come up with a few things.

I am back on the HCG diet. Today is the second day. I lost 20lbs the last time and hopefully will do the same this time. It really has been easier this time. I think because once I was done with the first round and could eat crap again, I really noticed how much better I felt physically and mentally when I wasn't eating all of the processed foods. Crossing my fingers for success again this time around.

School has been good, in four weeks I will have 9 credits under my belt. Ha! I know that is not a lot, but, more than none at all! I have really enjoyed my classes, they were all really easy. The hardest part was just keeping up the motivation to study. I am going summer, full time. Hopefully that will be OK, we shall see. I am also going to take math at bridgerland, yikes! My advisor told me that students are having more success taking math there than at the university because of smaller classes and better teachers. I will then have to test out of the class at USU. I really don't like math...oh well, it will be nice to be able to help my kids with 4th and 7th grade math. 3rd and 6th grade math has been a bugger!

Kids are doing good. They are growing into little people, so weird to me. I can have semi-adult conversations with the older two, which is fun, I just wish they would stop getting older. I am so glad to have Sophie, she is keeping me young or maybe making me age? who knows, she is a busy bee.

The other day Hayden and Gracie went to dinner with my dad. Hayden and my Dad were talking the economy. Hayden was explaining to my Dad how capitalism is important, and how Obama seems to be a bit socialist, all of the sudden Gracie piped up and offered her opinion. She said she was so frustrated with all the CEO's that caused the bad economy. My Dad said he almost drove into the burrow pit, he was so shocked by her knowledge. He couldn't stop laughing to tell the story... My kids, they are as bad as me when it comes to walking around with useless facts in there heads, insanity. Poor Wes!

Wes has been really busy lately, he has been working in SLC way more than he has been home, I wonder if we need to move down that way sometimes, then I think of all of the hustle and bustle and traffic and I begin to re-think that. I love Smithfield for so many reasons. I have family here, my kids love the schools they go to and there friends. I am in a ward with amazing women, none of which I can possibly equal ever. But, at least I get to watch them and learn from them, right?

Just a few random thoughts:

Something that has been going through my head today, I don't know why is-
There is opposition in all things. The statement applies to everything, every little situation I have been through(especially this month) I have to keep reminding myself, that it is how you react to the opposition that counts. Some of the places I have noticed the most opposition lately are as follows-

Facebook, great to communicate with friends and family, but, time consuming, addictive in some cases and abusive sometimes.

Family, The most single important thing that we all have is our families. The family unit is so important to heavenly Father and his Eternal plan. Satan knows this and is doing all he can to conquer families. I have had to step back and look at a few situations where I have been guilty of fueling this opposition, I have also had to really take a hard look at my own feelings and how badly they have been hurt. I have had to try to look at the bigger picture, and really analyze where I need to repent or offer forgiveness. Seriously, this is something I am working on, something that I have had to go to the lord with and beg for help and forgiveness and hearts to be softened.

Food, it's important to feed and nourish our bodies, it's yummy. Sometimes to yummy.

Friends. Pretty much the same story as family. I have a friend who has, seriously probably, 100 best friends, maybe more. I look at her in awe...how does she juggle so many friendships. I have never been one to have a lot of friends. I really don't know why, I usually get hurt or, I am sure, have done the hurting. Sometimes it's hard to be grown ups and have emotions. And try not to be hurt by what some on says or doesn't say. It takes work to be mature about things. Not sure if that makes sense, what I am trying to say is that friends are important, don't give up on them if you have a misunderstanding or a diffrence in opinion. Work through it, the more people you have in your corner the better.

And besides the few good movies we have seen lately (The diary of a wimpy kid and Bounty Hunter) that is all I have today. happy Easter!

2010-03-02T12:02:00.001-07:00

On Sunday it was my turn to give the lesson in Young Women's. I started out with an object lesson, that I think really brought the spirit we needed to really understand the importance of the message. I will share it, and maybe when you need it you can try it.

Take a piece of paper and write down 2 or 3 things that have really made you mad. It might take a minutes to think about it, but really think and feel the emotions of it. at this point I had the girls close their eyes. I asked them to crumple up the paper and just throw it. Then I held up a sculpture of Christ and had them open there eyes. (if you are doing this right now just picture Christ in your mind) The room went from a bunch of girls snarling and groaning and sharing stories of why they were so mad, to complete silence. Everyone just looked at my sculpture. As the one in front of 25 people, I could see and immediate change in thier countenance. I saw remorse, embarrassment, and reverence. I asked them if they handled the situation the way Christ would have, and if not, how the situations could have been different.

My lesson was on Being a Peacemaker. I was so humbled by the words of the lesson book. Especially because every Sunday morning is such a struggle at our house. It was amazing to hear the girls tell of times when they have taken the higher road, and not let Satan take control of different situations. Again I was reminded how awesome my calling is and how each one of my girls are an example to me. I have posted some quotes that i like. I challenge you, just like I did myself and the girls to really look for opportunities to be a peacemaker, and reflect on what Jesus would do. ~E

"When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. "

— Neal A Maxwell

"As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself... Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility."

— Nelson Mandela

"the Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Matt. 5:3–11"

Going Private

2010-02-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I am finally giving into my husbands wishes and taking my blog private. If you want to have access to it please just email me your email. Erin.Godfrey@aggiemail.usu.edu. If you have been a reader and I don't know you, just email me and let me know how you found my blog and why you read it. Thanks friends for all your support, I am blessed to have such great family and friends. ~E

diet protocol..and being sick

2010-02-23T09:01:00.002-07:00

Went back to the DR yesterday, no improvement. She is having me start steroids today which has the potential to be a big blow to the protocol. I can't let it get me down. I just need a plan. Steroids are not the best because, I have to take 5 doses just today. Each dose I am supposed to take with food. They also make you retain water worst than almost any drug you can take, and they induce terrible hunger. So all that said, I have roasted almonds that I will take a small handful of every time I have to take the meds. I am drinking dandelion root tea all day to help with the water retention, and as for the hunger... pray for me, cause that is what i will be doing. My hopes is that I will keep burning the fat even though the scale will not reflect that. I believe when this is all said and done and I am done with all the antibiotics and the steroids and breathing treatments, my weight will reflect the burned fat.

Benefits of Dandelion Root Tea:

It contains substantial amounts of these vitamins- substantial levels of vitamins A, C, D, and B complex as well as iron, magnesium, zinc, potassium,manganese, copper, choline, calcium, boron,

It supports healthy function of the Liver, Kidneys and Gallbladder.

Dandelion Tea enhances detoxificationby stimulating urination, as well as replacing the potassium lost to the increased volume of urine.
Dandelion Tea is used to help in the health maintenance of those suffering from Type-1 and Type-2 diabetes.
Dandelion Tea can be used for treatment of such liver disorders as hepatitis and jaundice.
Dandelion Tea can be used for purifying the blood and cleansing the system.
Dandelion Tea can help in relieving digestive disorders such as constipation and diarrhea.
Dandelion Tea has properties that can help cleanse and improve the skin.

I got all this information from this site http://www.teabenefits.com/herbal-tea-benefits/dandelion-tea-benefits.html

There are many more very informative sites just google the benefits of dandelion tea.

Just keeps hanging on

2010-02-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

pneumonia.

Chapter 6 Essay

2010-02-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

Each week in one of my psychology classes I have to write an Essay on the topic given. I thought I would post one today, because lately once I am done writing my essays, I really don't want to write on my blog because I am all written out!
Just for your refrence Chapter 6 is called "Gaining Self Awareness"

Chapter 6 Essay

Children learn many of their inner rules from parents or other significant adults. Write a formal essay that you will present to an important child or children on their twenty-first birthday. In this essay, inform them of the most important rules you have chosen to guide your actions in life and propel you toward a rich, personally fulfilling life.

Dear Hayden, Gracie and Sophie,

I am writing this letter to give to you when you reach an age that you have to start taking control of your life. When there are many important choices to be made that can and may affect your whole life.I want you to know, that, I too have had to make such choices. I am sure I will still have many more to make.

The most important thing that I want to get across to you in this letter is how I have used my inner beliefs as a guide in most of my choices. I think it is important to share with you what my inner-beliefs are, so that you can consciously think about what you want your inner-beliefs to be that will guide you through your life.

I truly believe that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us as individuals, who, is readily available to us at all times whether we are in need of help or in need of expressing our gratitude. Many, many times I have had hard decisions to make or trials in my life and I have found strength and answers through prayer. I can also remember times of joy when I have had to immediately pray to express my gratitude.

I am convinced that it is our responsibility as human beings to love one another. To me this means so much more than how it sounds. We must always find a way to serve. This is not just good for who you serve but for you and your happiness. There will be times in your life when you have to accept service this is also important. It is also important not to judge people or put yourself above anyone. What goes around comes around, and how you treat people will directly affect how people treat you.

I hope that after reading my inner beliefs that you will be able to form your own foundation of basic inner beliefs that will help guide you through your life and bring you an abundance of happiness.

Getting Old.

2010-02-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

For the third time this season, yes that is 3 times, I have stinky, crappy Pneumonia. This round is my most painful, darn polluted air. I really think my lungs would be better off in Arizona...wishful thinking. Poor Wes, this sucks for him too. Oh well, I am grateful for modern medicine, at least I have that going for me.

Valentines Weekend

2010-02-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

I thought it was so strange that valentines day was on Sunday, it seemed like the longest valentines day ever because the kids celebrated on Friday, Then Wes gave me my presents on Saturday, then Sunday it was Valentines.

So, Wes got me the most fabulous foot bath! I have been wanting it FOREVER! I am having major feet problems, they never stop hurting. So it was wonderful to soak them. He also gave me the most beautiful rose and tulip arrangement. He is so sweet.

Saturday night we had some friends come over and watch a movie with us after the kids were in bed. It was probably the worst movie made in the past couple of years. HOWEVER, it was so bad that we all laughed and laughed, it actually made for a very fun night. I mentioned my "diet" in a previous post, can I just say, Valentines was a bit strange without chocolate.

The last 2 weeks have been torture just because, I was in charge of treats for our YW New Beginnings, also I helped with the treats for a baby shower, on Sunday we went to my Father in laws birthday party, cup cakes, cheesecake, cookies, ice cream, candy, chips and dip......I ate celery, it was difficult. I am so looking forward to a break from all the treats!

Gotta run, I have tons of homework! Have a good week friends! ~E

Still Here

2010-02-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Not much to blog about lately. The weather here is so dreary! I am not much about blogging when I am in this mood! But here are a few happenings....

Yesterday was the Valentine Tea at Summit and Gracie was so excited. I took her out and got her a new dress. We went to Brats, a children's clothing boutique in town because all the box stores are already selling sun dresses! We went straight back to the puffy girly dresses, and guess what? To my surprise she was not real interested in them. She picked a very simple dress that was so cute. I can't believe she is growing up.

Hayden and sophie have been sick all week. Hayden with Strep throat, Sophie with RSV and and a double ear infection....so for the most part I have been stuck in my house all week. i helped Natalie throw a baby shower for our friend Wendy on Thursday night so I did get out Thursday.

School this week was a little crazy. I had take 2 tests, and I had a bunch of papers due on Thursday which I had to cram into wednesday night, but I did get it all done and I got all A's.

Most people who are around me know, but I might as well announce it here, because it attributes to my mood for blogging too, are you ready?.......

I AM ON A DIET.

Not just any diet. I am on the Simeon's Protocal. http://www.hcginfoonline.com/ORIGINAL_Dr_Simeons_Pounds_and_Inches.htm

I eat 500 calories a day. It is working for me. It is also strengthening my will power, something I have needed to work on. I have a separate blog to record my journey, you must be invited to it too view. so if you are really interested then let me know. I won't be putting much on here about it. enough said.

I am in need of a GNO weekend, so in March I am happy to say I will be getting one! My Mom, Sisters and I are going to Salt Lake City for 2 nights and I am so ready. I have been ready for months! I haven't spent near enough time with them lately, it's amazing how things can fog your perspective of family and friends. I love my mom and my sisters and I need them. When it all comes down to it, our values align, our priority's align and they will not hurt you weather it be unknowingly or on purpose near as much as sometimes friends can. I have great friends, don't get me wrong, I just need but, it is time for family. YAY!

Wes and I hopefuly are going to get away at the end of February, crossing my fingers!

So that is it for now. Hope you all have a wonderful valentines!

He will lift your heavy load and carry you...

2010-01-27T09:51:00.002-07:00

After my previous blog post I had to add this. My friend posted it on her facebook and it calmed all my thoughts. I am humbled by his love.

Random.

2010-01-27T09:04:00.005-07:00

So I have this problem called thinking. Seriously, lately my mind just goes and goes and goes(like the energizer bunny). I got this idea that maybe if I blogged some of these things I could be done thinking about them.....slim chance I know.

Thyroids-

Why can't they just work the way they are supposed to? Mine functions like a sluggish turtle at best. I decided to look up things I can do to help my situation (yes I do take meds too)

1. Drink tons of water! Half a gallon a day.

2. Take a good Kelp supplement

3. High quality protein. All of our body’s glands and hormones are made from protein. Try to eat high quality lean protein at every meal.

4. Selenium-rich foods – meat, chicken, salmon, tuna, seafood, whole unrefined grains, brazil nuts, brewer’s yeast, dairy products, garlic, onions and black strap molasses.

5. Supplements of Vitamin B complex and essential fatty acids because they help to balance the entire hormonal system.

6. Stay away from Soy, only drink reverse osmosis water, (tap water has chloride and bromide which block iodine receptors), because hypothyroid goes hand in hand with low progesterone, only eat organic meat. You can look up why it is very interesting. Also in extreme cases Broccoli, Brussel sprouts and a few other veggies should be avoided.

That was fun, I have heard that the power of our minds is quite amazing so I may try to write my thyroid a few love letters, because to put it simply, I would rather do that, so than give up BROCCOLI!

Haiti-

My heart aches for this country and people, especially the little children. I just read an article that there are up words to 6000 children with no adult supervision. Hospitals are releasing them out into the streets by themselves. I can hardly stand the thought. I pray, really hard, for them.

Dreams-

why in the world do we have the same dreams over and over again. I am really sick of reruns.

Friends-

they are always good to have. Some times they hurt us, but not intentionally. Everyone is human, and must be given the benefit of the doubt, that said, if you are hurt over and over by the same person...my opinion would to be to let the friendship rest and move on.

My Kids-

I love them. I hope many things for them.

Wes-

He is so Awesome., I just wish he would be my gym partner!

My family-

is diverse, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Homework-

16 hours a week folks!

Fog-

Go somewhere else, I need to breath.

To Do Lists-

I hate them they scare me.

Now that all that is off my chest, I must go start my day. I leave you with this scary true thought...

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."
— Mahatma Gandhi

2010-01-26T18:11:00.002-07:00

I get to go with my Young women tonight! I love Tuesdays. The girls all have wonderful energy, and are great examples of the youth today!

It's a Good Thing She's CUTE!

2010-01-25T18:20:00.003-07:00

This is what happens when Sophie has 2 minutes to herself, Oh and by the way I actually had my kitchen clean today!!!

January.... Where Did You Go?

2010-01-24T09:57:00.002-07:00

Time is really movin! I can't believe it's almost February. So where did January go? Poof in the air? That is what it feels like. But, really it's just been busy.

Kids went back to school after Christmas break and I was so ready. I love having them home but, it's really hard to get anything done, not to mention that they eat me out of house and home! I think they were ready to go back too, it gets boring after a while being home everyday.

I went up to the my friend Sophia's cabin with the gang. It was very different this time. We were all very tired from the holiday I think. Usually we are bouncing off the walls and doing oompa-loompa dances and staying up until the sun rises. Not this time, we were tucked in by 11:30, and snoring by 1. Although it was a different dynamic this time, it was still fabulous, We all needed the break and it was nice.

I started School!!! I am taking 2 psychology classes and one USU class. They are all really good classes to start with. I am amazed at how much studying I am having to do though. I sit down and before I know it 3 hours have gone by. Wes has been so supportive, he has been great to take care of the kids so I can study.

My church calling in the Young Women also keeps me on my toes. It is super fun to watch the girls grow up, and I am so privileged to be able to be a part of it in a small way.

My health has taken a down turn this month which has been frustrating, I am not going to go into it though because I hate dwelling on it. I just hope that people will have patience with me, I get a little ornery and tired.

The kids all keep growing up. Sophie is a spit fire and keeps me running. She loves to make HUGE messes and her partner in crime is Rico (our dog). Gracie had parent teacher conference this month and it took less than 3 minutes for her teacher to go over her grades with us. She is reading at a 5th grade level, her handwriting is at a 5th grade level and she is getting 4's in all subjects (A's). Hayden never ceases to crack us up. We took the family to the Copper Mill, and I think it was the first time my kids had eaten there. They thought is was so fancy! Hayden got Halibut and chips.... he asked us "why do you think I like the Copper Mill so much" he then says "for the Hal-ib-it" (He!!- of- it) pretty funny we thought.

Now that I have typed it all out I can see where January went. If anything, that, is why I blog. Being able to reflect and see that it all isn't just waisted time! On to February now......

Ode To Sunday

2010-01-10T10:24:00.001-07:00

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."
— Joseph B. Wirthlin

2 hours!

2010-01-08T09:23:00.003-07:00

In 2 hours I will be on my way. . . . .

. . . . a much needed 24 hour break.

Full of, but not exclusive to

Laughing

Talking

Eating

Doris Day

Cards

Eating

Laughing

Eating

Cards

Serenity Now.... Enough Said!

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oliver

2010-01-06T22:28:00.001-07:00

Here is the link to Oliver's Blog. Oliver is the little boy I mentioned that has an inoperable brain tumor.

http://olliesallstars.blogspot.com/

Whats New Today?

2010-01-06T08:49:00.002-07:00

For one thing I am feeling better *Phew* Mama being sick just doesn't cut it! Although, being pampered by Wes wasn't so bad either. I wonder what it would be like to be pampered when your not feeling like a hippo is sitting on your chest? hmmm? Oh well, my family did a great and wonderful job at keeping me down. They kept the house up and everything.

Today I need to get back in the swing of things, exercise, cooking, shopping.... LAUNDRY! I am hoping to do happy hour at sonic with some friends, there is a limeade with vanilla calling my name.

Less than a week from now I will officially be in school! I am so excited, scared, happy, nervous....I really don't know what to expect. I am pretty sure I will do just fine though! I love to learn! It will be nice to fill my head with useful facts instead of just weird off the wall facts.

Well I better hop to it and get going. ~E

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."
— Dr. Seuss

2010-01-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I am sick it's hard to remember, this was great for me to hear today.

Oxygen

2010-01-03T20:48:00.002-07:00

Funny how you take things for granted until they are jeopardized in some way isn't it? I woke up this morning feeling like I was drowning. I could here a horrible sound, shrieking I guess. It was me. And I could hardly catch my breath. I put myself in the car and went up to the hospital and it was confirmed that I have Pneumonia. Kind of crappy really. If I get any kind of a cold it just goes straight to my lungs because I have asthma. This to shall pass, thankfully due to antibiotics!

I am so blessed though, because I always have people ready and willing to help me out. My Mom rushed over and made a pot of soup and did my dishes. My In laws came and took my kids to church, my Sis came and took Sophie for the day and I had 2 fabulous friends offer help as well. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood, in a few minutes I am going to get a blessing from my Husband, and because of that I know I will sleep soundly. Lastly, I look forward to when I can do Yoga again and take some long deep breaths, Oxygen is not something to take for granted, each breath gives life. ~E

2010!

2010-01-01T11:46:00.003-07:00

We saw the new Year in last night with our kids and some great friends. We were all so blessed to be with one another! We had great food, a movie full of action (which helped me stay awake!) and lot's of laughs.

Looking back over 2009, I feel like my greatest achievement was learning to be a bit more positive. I am still not the most positive person you will ever meet, but, I am so much better than I ever have been. I am so proud of myself for this. I am,and have always been a realist. I believe I still am now I am just a realist who has hope.

Moving forward into 2010 I have only a few goals. ( Wes has always told me I bite off more than I can chew, and he is right.) The first Goal being to Wake up everyday and realize it is a new day. Identify, what I did good the previous day. Being a stay at home Mom my days tend to start running into each other and I start feeling like I am living the same day every day. This sometimes gets me down. So I am sure that if I make an effort to separate my days in my thoughts this will improve.

My second goal is to consciously think of one person I need to help each day and do it. I am sure I help people out everyday, but I don't know that I recognize it. So if I make a concious effort I think it will help me to know that I am making a difference in the world each day. This is something I feel is important, because it brings peace to the soul, knowing that maybe each day you are accomplishing something.

Seriously, this stuff really probably only makes sense to me, but hey, that's OK.

I ran across some of the Daili Lama's advise for the new Millennium and loved it. So I leave with that and a video about hope. HAPPY NEW YEAR! ~E

Instructions for life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2 When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: respect for self, respect for others, and responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. when you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each Other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon."

— Dalai Lama XIV

Recent Tidbits, Updates and Food for Thought.

2009-12-29T19:58:00.004-07:00

Another Holiday season is on ( or is it off?) the books and a new year is around the corner. I am always amazed at how fast time goes by.

So far 2009 has been a calm, quiet year. I guess you could call it a "Sleeper Year". With that being said, we still faced a few challenges, and were also blessed immensely. Because of the rather, subtle year that it was, we were able to concentrate on some very important things.

The biggest being settling back in to our home here in Utah. Along with that we have been able to get emotional help from a great therapist. I am so very blessed to be fortunate enough to have insurance that covers that kind of thing. We have all made progress mentally and emotional. I never knew how important mental health is to your day to day life and activity, until each person in my little family were walloped by an emotional illness called Post Traumatic Stress. I can't imagine what could have happened without the emotional support we have had from our therapist,family friends and of course Heavenly Father.

Moving forward and turning what I have learned into a positive, I am going back to school. I have carefully considered what I will study and have decided, given my experience and knowledge of my own healing process, I am going to major in Psychology with a minor in Family and Human Development. I plan to go straight into the master program to get my Master of Social Work. My End goal is to help people, and give back some of what I have been given. Also, hopefully be able to help my own family cope with long term affects of our experience.

Now for some tidbits....

Recently Wes was complaining that he was a little bit more pudgy than he used to be... Hayden immediately jumped in and said "Dad your not fat it just depends on what shirt you are wearing"

Sophie has been named the "Little Dipper" she has to have something to dip her food in with every meal or she throws a fit... it can be ranch, bbq sauce, sweet and sour, salsa or ketchup as long as there is something.

Wes and I went to the movie today and left Hayden and Gracie in charge of watching Sophie. Gracie decided to make a treat for Sophie. A nice cup of chocolate milk. When we got home I saw a mess on the counter and Gracie told me what she had done. She added that Sophie didn't even like the chocolate milk. Later as I was looking at the mess I noticed...she used chocolate powder for baking. NO WONDER sophie spit it out at her and said KAH KAH! LOL, to cute.

Lastly my heart is breaking for a friend and I feel so helpless. Here is a little back ground about her.

The day of the tornado, as we were being rescued I got in the van that was taking us to saftey and I looked down at my 8 month pregnant belly. And was horrified to realize that I had NO maternity clothes or underware to but on. I was so muddy and just wanted to be clean and warm. I am not just a person you can go out and buy for because I required plus size clothing. Everything I had owned was special ordered. My stomach lurched and in my heart I wispered "Heavenly Father....PLEASE HELP me. It was kind of an subconscious prayer, a plea because I had no clue what I was going to do. When we arrived to safety, there waiting for me were maternity clothes, my exact size and underwear I might add. A woman who I had never met donated them for me. Another friend had brought them to the house for me. These 2 woman will never know how thankful I am and how I truley believe they were instruments in the Lords Hands and an answer to the desperate plea of my heart.

On December 23, Stacey the women who donated the clothes to me found out that her 8 year old son has an inoperable brain tumor. I am so heartbroken for this sweet little family. I feel so helpless because I want to be able to help them the way they helped me. As of now all I have been able to do is pray, but hopefully my prayers for them will be answered just as quickly as they were the day of the Tornado for me. I have put their names on many prayer lists, and I am asking my readers to please offer a prayer up for them. They need all the strength they can get. I do believe in miracles and in the power of prayer and I have a testimony of it. I may not physically be in Iowa, but they are in my thoughts and prayer none the less. I believe there is a Website being set up at the present time for way of donations to help this family. I plan on adding it to my links so please watch for it.

With a humble heart and a great feeling of gratitude for all of my blessings I close for now ~E

Christmas Day 2009

2009-12-27T18:39:00.003-07:00

Was a very relaxing Lazy, Lazy Day! The kids loved their gifts, especially Sophie! She caught on to unwrapping presents very quickly!

Here is a list of what Santa brought.

Hayden: Bow and Arrow, Muse tickets, Video Game, 2 movies, Books, and Scriptures.

Gracie: Outfit, Phone for her room, Electric Scooter, Book, Movies, WII game and Scriptures.

Sophie: Barn and little people, some other toy that makes noise, a shopping cart, 4 books, a movie, stuffed lion and some bath toys.

The kids were very gracious and thankful for all they got.

After opening all the gifts we had a great breakfast. Wes and I took turns taking naps. I worked on my puzzle and we watched several movies. It was a great day at our house. We are Blessed.

Chistmas Eve

2009-12-27T18:04:00.004-07:00

Christmas Eve 2009

It was a wonderful day spent at home. I ran around like a crazy lady most the day. I had cleaning and cooking to do. Wes had to work and also did some last minute shoppping. The kids were so excited all day long they could barely control themselves.

For dinner we had BBQ Meatballs, Cracker and Cheeseball, au gratin potatoes, tossed green salad, and shrimp. Oh and of course I can't forget the sparkling cider!

We all stayed up late watching a Christmas Story. Finally when the kids were asleep Wes and I went to work. Something we have always done is wrap the presents Christmas Eve. I have decided that is going to change! By the time we were all done it was 1:30 AM. We were so ready to sleep, I don't even remember my head hitting the pillow! By 2:30 all 3 kids were awake....ahhhh. They came in every half hour until 8 begging to open presents. Let's just say we were a bit groggy Christmas day!

This is the 3rd Christmas Eve we have spent just as our little family, and I have to say I LOVE it!

Forming New Habits.

2009-12-03T18:30:00.004-07:00

I have always heard that to make something a habit you must do it consecutively for an extended amount of time. Being that it is the Holiday season, there are 2 things I typically worry about. First, OVER-LOAD of too much fabulously good food and the damage it does to my trunk;) Second, time. There just isn't enough of it to go around.

My solution? Hayden and I have made a pact to get up every morning at 4:30 (he is a stickler on the time) to exercise together. While one does the treadmill the other will do weights. Today is day 2, and I have to say Hayden is really taking this serious! Something we are also doing is saying a prayer before we start, I know that sounds so silly, but we ask Heavenly Father to please help our bodies to be receptive of our workouts and also we ask for help making good choices throughout the day with what goes into our mouths.

Hayden is growing and maturing and has started feeling self conscious of himself. Last week at the family party some of the cousins his age (boys) were talking about how they were trying to put on weight. Haydens comment was so funny, everyone laughed. But on the inside I wanted to cry. he said "Guys, believe me, I have been down that road, and let me tell ya, once you gain the weight it is a lot harder to dig your self out."

I am so grateful for him, and that he has been so responsive to this pact that we have made. The other cool thing is that we talk, and he tells me things about school and friends and whatever else. It is wonderful bonding time for us. I so needed a workout partner! I have been so sad ever since my trainer moved away. It is so fabulous to be a Mom! ~E

Christmas Decorations .... UP!

2009-12-01T13:53:00.003-07:00

Between the Dog and Sophie, I am shocked that the decorating is done! Not only are we done on the inside, but Wes also did the outside with Gracie's help. Now I just need to do the baking and shopping and we can have Christmas.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-28T14:19:00.002-07:00

This year we shared Thanksgiving with the Godfrey Family. Because the family is getting so large Wes' Mom decided to have it up to the Church building. It seemed to workout great. The food was wonderful, the table setting very nice and we enjoyed good company. Wes and his sister thought it would be funny to have each family do a skit for everyone. Our skit was the ... uh... least prepared I would say. We danced to music from Nacho Libra and wore sombreros on our heads. Thank heaven for Sophie because she was the most amusing part!

On Thanksgiving day I thought about all the things that I am thankful for. What stuck out the most kind of surprised me. I am so very Grateful for my Trials and the adversity I have faced in my life. I believe and know with out any doubt, they have made me a more thoughtful, caring person. They have opened my eyes to the bigger picture of life. I can see beyond the little trivial things, to the things that really matter. The moments of the heart is how I would describe such things. My faith has been strengthened, the limits I have set for myself have been pushed beyond what I thought I could handle and my Character has been enriched for the better. All these things help me to make better choices, be a better Mother and a better person. I am not afraid of the trials to come, because I have faith that the Lord will never leave my side...he has always been there before.

Hoping that everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. ~E

It's Official!

2009-11-10T10:19:00.002-07:00

I am going to college! I can't believe it! I am all registered for spring Semester at Utah State University. I have yet to declare a major. There are so many things I'd like to do.

When I tell people I am going back for the most part, everyone is excited! There are a few though that look at me me funny, like.... why are you so excited? I thought I would share my inspiration. that way when I have a rough time, or a class I hate I can look back and remind myself why.

So, when I was 9, my family relocated to Utah from New Mexico. It was a hard time financially for my parents. My Mom decided it would be best to go back to school so she could eventually provide some stability for us, my 2 sisters and I.

She set an example for me, I watched her work full time, raise 3 daughters, go to school full time and most importantly show great determination, self discipline, and Faith in the Lord and Jesus Christ. She did all this during one of the most tragic parts of her life. Amazing.

I want my children to be able to think of me the way I think of my Mother. I want to be an example to them, I want them to know that no matter how hard life can be, if they put their minds to it, they can succeed. I want them to know that they can lean of the Lord and his Gospel for support. Some of the things I remember most about my Mom...She tried her hardest not to study on Sundays. Also, no matter how long she had worked, or gone to school or spent time reading text books, it never failed that if I woke up in the middle of the night, I could creep in and look into her bedroom and see her praying on her knees, with her scriptures opened in front of her. And although I couldn't hear her out loud, I knew she was pleading for strength....and I know she was carried through those times because of her faith!

So there you go, that is why I am so excited. If I can just be half the example my Mom was I will be happy. Also, last night was awesome. When Hayden came home from school to find Wes and not me...all he could say was that he (hayden) was so proud of me. And when I picked Gracie up from School, she said "Mom it will be so neat to have you going to school, because when I say I hate school, I don't want to go I will think twice because you are going too!

How cool is that? ~E

This says it all....no need to ask why I can't get anything done.

2009-11-04T09:45:00.001-07:00

Taking a Breather to Count My Blessings.

2009-10-26T20:51:00.003-06:00

I am not going to lie, this last week has been tough. First with the loss of my little friend Oscar (my dog), then a few days later I welcomed the Swine Flu most graciously into my lungs! Reguardless of these things, I must look on the positive side of things and count my blessings.

As I sit here tonight, in my little corner doing my nebulizer treatment ( see pic of nebulizer) for my Asthma/pneumonia I am over whelmed with so much gratitude. I have so many things to be thankful for. So here it goes....

I am looking at a clean house thanks to Wes and the kids. They all pitched in tonight to help get it all done. It was such a mess this afternoon, I didn't know what I was going to do. As I sat in the Doctors office listening to her give me instructions, I could hardly contain myself. She kept saying things like SLEEP,REST,TAKE IT EASY, SLEEP. In my mind I was thinking how in the heck can I do that when I have such a Stinky house? It was such a blessing to come home and have a husband who really cares and wanted to help. I am so lucky! BTW, yesterday was our 13Th anniversary. We couldn't go on a hot date, there was no fancy meal, but he did all he could to make me comfy. He got me lots of new fuzzy socks, some new Jammie's, slippers and flowers. I am afraid all I have given him is the impending swine flu. I am so blessed to have such a cute, fun little family and a home that is full of love and for at least a moment is clean (except for our bedrooms)

I am so grateful for friends and neighbors. I had lots of people offer to bring meals in tonight for us. We had a wonderful dinner and dessert, someone else brought french bread, and someone else brought an apple pie. Again, I am blessed. And, most certainly humbled by the goodness of people. It makes me want to try a little harder to be a little better.

I am thankful for my warm house, I hear that we may wake up to snow in the morning! There is nothing better than a cozy warm house on a winter day.

I am blessed to have the knowledge that I can pray at anytime to my Heavenly Father. I can pray for help, for comfort, for knowledge, for forgiveness or just to say thanks. The best part is....he listens, he is waiting for me to pray and converse with him because he loves me, and wants the best for me. AMAZING I know!

Life certainly has it's ups and downs, sometimes it helps to just sit, take a breath (even if it is assisted with a nebulizor) and think about all of your blessings. Life IS good. ~E

Dedicated to Oscar.....RIP

2009-10-22T11:04:00.003-06:00

My little companion Oscar died last night. I was pulling up to the house and he got excited and ran under my back tire. He died in my arms on the way to the vet last night at 10:30. I am so heartbroken. he was a great dog!

Quiz.

2009-10-19T12:31:00.005-06:00

Humor me and take my quiz, it really does have a point! I am going to give you a tag-line, slogan, or part of a jingle. Name the product or Brand it represents. (The answers are in the comments)

Some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't:

Just DO It:

Where's the Beef:

Are you in good hands:

The Quicker Picker Upper:

Like a Rock:

The Fabric of our Lives:

Snap, Crackle, Pop:

Melt's in your mouth, Not in your hands.

How did you do? I did fantastic! Kind of proud that I knew all of them. But really, when I start to think about it, how did I know all of them? A few weeks ago Gracie and I went out for lunch to our favorite chinese place. When she opened her fortune cookie it said "always be in control of your mind, or someone else will. She had know Idea what that meant. I explained that our minds are like sponges and they can soak up alot of unwanted information. The proof is in my little Quiz.

Yesterday for Young Women I taught the lesson. It was on worthy thoughts, and having good thoughts. It really was a great lesson, it made me seriously think about my own mind and the "clutter" it may have. I really do feel like a battle with my mind sometimes, You're fat, your lazy, You're worthless... and so on.

Proverbs 23:7: ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’

Elder Boyd k. Packer gave a wonderful talk on the subject of thoughts. Some of the things he spoke of were as follows

" Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts."

"As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits.You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life."

"I had been told a hundred times or more as I grew up that thoughts must be controlled, but no one had told me how. I’ve thought about this over the years and have decided that the mind is like a stage. During every waking moment the curtain is up. There is always some act being performed on that stage. It may be a comedy, a tragedy, interesting or dull, good or bad; but always there is some act playing on the stage of your mind.

“Have you noticed that shady little thoughts may creep in from the wings and attract your attention in the middle of almost any performance on that stage and without any real intent on your part? These delinquent thoughts will try to upstage everybody. If you permit them to go on, all thoughts of any virtue will leave the stage. You will be left, because you consented to it, to the influence of unrighteous thoughts. If you yield to them, they will enact for you on the stage of your mind anything to the limits of your toleration. They may enact themes of bitterness, jealousy, or hatred. They may be vulgar, immoral, even depraved. When they have the stage, if you let them, they will devise the most clever persuasions to hold your attention. They can make it interesting all right, even convince you that they are innocent, for they are but thoughts. What do you do at a time like that, when the stage of your mind is commandeered by the imps of unclean thinking, whether they be the gray ones that seem almost clean, or the filthy ones which leave no room for doubt? If you can fill your mind with clean and constructive thoughts, then there will be no room for these persistent imps, and they will leave."

Elder packer offered up some help, something that he does to control his thoughts. He has memorized some of his favorite uplifting songs, and when something negative trys to enter his mind he can shut it down with the song, and go to a happy peaceful place. He says that if you do it enough the song will eventually become second nature and you will just start reverting to it with out having to make much effort.

As some of you know Gracie has been dealing with terrible stomach aches. The more testing we have done the more it looks like it is how she is manifesting the stress from the tornado. Last night I tried something with her. Instead of her telling me how sick she felt I had her repeat 10 times...I feel great, I am health and happy! I don't know if she was sold, but she did it and you know what...she slept all night.

One of of my challenges in this life is being a pessimist or a realist I like to call it. I really loved this lesson and teaching it, I feel like it has empowered me to take my mind back, just because I have been told that it is my nature to be negative, I don't have to settle with that...I am what I want to be.

Thanks for reading my post, I am sure to some it might have not made any sense, but hopefully it helped someone like it helped me. ~E

Feeling a Little Domestic....

2009-10-15T21:43:00.005-06:00

Last week Sophia and I took a quick trip to Layton to visit Tai Pan ( A home decorating store). We had a great time. She cracks me up because she is nuts over the place! I really didn't have any intention of purchasing anything. I have had a gift card for about a year that I needed to use. But unless something popped right out at me, I wasn't going to buy anything. Back in the good ole'days I used to find much pleasure for decorating, but not so much in the last couple of years. But, as we walked into one of the rooms in the store, this print jumped right out at me! I love it! It looks really good on my vaulted wall. I am very proud of myself for finally doing a little bit of decorating. And a little secret...I had fun.

Sunday night me and the kids dipped Carmel Apples! I was delightful, we had a great time. We all thought they looked to nice too eat, but we ate them anyway!

I don't know why I feel like I have accomplished so much, but it feels good anyway. Oh and here is a shocker my whole upstairs is spotless as I am typing this... yippee! I think tomorrow I will try to make some bread.... don't hold your breath though! ~E

Reality Check.... For Everyone.

2009-10-14T10:58:00.003-06:00

If you are a regular reader of my blog then you have seen a glimpse into my life, and , know the struggles that my family and I have faced over the last 16 months. We have our lives before the Tornado, and life after the Tornado. Recently, after visiting a new doctor, I have been enlightened. Seriously, Wes and I have sometimes felt like we are spiraling into a down hill abyss along with our children. She says there is a treatment that will help us, the price tag is 4000.00 each, insurance will not cover this. There is no way we can afford it, she told me to pray about it, and if it is Gods Will it will somehow work out. I believe this and I am praying hard.

In doing research about the treatment, I also was able to research PTSD. I was floored that each one of us has displayed the symptoms in different ways. I was relieved to know that we aren't all going insane, but also I can see we have a long road of healing in front of us. We all see a phycologist, but that is just not quite enough.

Some of the problems weighing me down seem like they may not be a big deal to someone else, but just the everyday battle of life impacts me to the point that the pressure gets to be too much.

One of the hardest things about this are the people who judge us. Who, when they see my house that is a disaster think oh she is just lazy. Or when they witness one of my kids having an outburst they think my kid is rotten.

We have friends who aren't our friends anymore, we have family members who intentionally try to hurt us and talk down to us. This has been a struggle. We have told ourselves it's ok, be strong, who needs them anyway....but it still hurts to know that people you thought cared about you have no compassion for what you have been through. Wes and I have done many firesides, talks .... and we have had co workers show up , friends we haven't seen, all without invites, but some family who couldn't care less. They don't even act interested.

If you are my friend, or not, if you care about us, or not, please go to this link that I am posting.

http://ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_commonreactions.html

and

http://ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_survivors_disaster.html

Please read it and know what we are living on a daily basis, so that when you see that I am on Facebook at 3 am maybe you won't think I am addicted, you will wonder if I have had another horrible dream where I haven't been able to save my family from the storm. Or when I drop the ball and can't show up to a commitment because I can't face the world you might have a little compassion for me.

This is so hard to write, but I felt I needed to . Because when I try to explain to people how I feel , I can't it's too hard.

I am so very grateful for the many good friends and family members I DO have, for the love support and understanding that I do receive. Thank you for putting up with me. ~E

Playhouse

2009-10-12T11:43:00.003-06:00

A couple of weeks ago we had our first rainstorm in months. We were all excited for it! I just wanted to get cozy make some soup and read all day, that is my idea of a perfect rainy day. The kids were out of school on break, and Gracie was so excited to have rain. Her idea of celebrating was to build a hut on the grass...in the rain. I didn't want to squash her fun, so I let her go ahead with the crazy idea. As she was hauling lawn chairs all over the yard, and blankets and umbrellas, sophie was inside watching her with envious intention. She had a plan. She came into the kitchen with some mismatched socks (one was Gracie's the other was Wes). Then somewhere she found gracie's purse and swung it over her shoulder like a nap sack. When the hut the was completed I went out to take some photo's. As I started snapping the pictures I felt a quick breeze on my legs. Soon I realized what it was. It was Sophie rushing full fledged out to the hut. To Gracie and my horror Sophie threw her self on top of all the blankets, and to add a little cherry on top, Oscar went and got comfy too. It was so funny, but sad at the same time. Gracie was so not pleased, and Sophie couldn't have been more pleased. I couldn't laugh out loud but inside, I could hardly contain myself.

Date Night...in the ER?

2009-09-26T14:16:00.002-06:00

Thursday I dropped the kids off at swimming and headed to Shopko. I wanted to get a rug for my kitchen and they were having a great sale.

I had been feeling sick all week and hadn't been able to put my finger on what was going on. As I was walking in the doors I remember starting to feel sick, and I said something about it too Sophie, I know as if she cared. I kept walking and the pain got worse and worse. I b-lined it to the back of the mens department because I couldn't see anyone over there. Then I doubled over and laid on the floor in pain, Sophie was so amused. I was not. I was so worried someone would see me and call an ambulance and I wouldn't be able to pick my kiddos up from swimming on time. I got my wits about me, stood up and walked to the check out line, of course it was longer than anything! I thought about abandoning my cart, but I didn't want to make a seen...so I breathed like I was in labor, I think I still made a seen.

I finally made it out to the car, got sophie in and started calling whoever I could think of to come help me. I seriously have not felt that kind of pain set on so fast. In the mean time it was time to get my kids ... long story short, I made it to the Sports Academy, my Mom met me there, got the kids and headed home to drop them off. Then Mom took me to instacare. Wes met us there (he had been in salt Lake) and then instacare sent us to the ER.

By the time we got there, my abdomen/pelvic area were just soar. It took 40 min to check in. Then another hour to get my IV, then another hour to have an ultrasound, then another 30 minutes to have the doc come back too right some prescriptions. Then 1 more hour to be released. This was a very long night. I tell you all this because, to mine and Wes' surprise, it was a very "fun" miserable wait if that makes any sense at all. We were so board we kept coming up with things to laugh at, and we laughed and laughed. Our nurses would come in and laugh with us too. It turned out to be one of our best "date nights" ever. How cool is that?

As far as my diagnosis I have a Hemorrhagic cyst on my ovary. This is a cyst that is full of blood and bleeds. I know totally gross. Apparently it is painful. I will be seeing my gynocologist next week to decide what to do about it.

I am so very blessed to be married to my best friend, who can always make me laugh, no matter how much pain I am in. Turns out we both talked about how much fun we had to other people the next day, so it really was a good time. I don't plan on ever having a date in the ER again, but I am thankful for the one I had. ~E

So Glad

2009-09-24T10:17:00.000-06:00

It didn't hit us at night....just a nightmare.

Grayson Academy

2009-09-22T21:07:00.002-06:00

Gracie told me that a boy in her class Watches the Soap Opera "Grayson Academy" because the ladies are hot .... I think she meant "Grays Anatomy" I love being a mom for these funny little moments.

Well life has not slowed down lately, still moving along at an ever increasing pace. Here is just an update of the goings on here at our house.

Swimming and Tennis are starting up again. I am so glad Hayden likes both of these sports, and Gracie too. Hayden doesn't have PE the whole first half of the year! What a joke, in my humble opinion! They will have swimming 2 days a week and tennis 2 days a week with Fridays off. Both of my kids would rather play individual sports rather than team. It always amazes me that I am their mother and wes their Dad...We both loved team sports. Hayden also loves his golf, I think Gracie will too.

My Physical Activity has been lacking still to say the least. i am still in morning that my trainer moved. I really need a weight lifting partner... any takers?

So today was day 5 of getting up and getting "ready" all in all I am having more positive, productive days.

I have seen a ton of movies lately, some good, some not so...

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was so funny. I loved it. Super cute, for the whole family.

All About Steve was a little psychotic. My Friends hated it. I cried at the end because in a way I identified with the character Sandra Bullock portrayed. She played a misunderstood social misfit. This is how I have viewed myself in the past.

XMEN Origins was good, especially because it had to hot guys not just one. Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds.

Body of Lies with Leo Dicaprio and Russel Crow....what can I say I like spy movies. In another life I think I should work for the CIA and be named Sydney Bristow. I liked but it was graphic.

Hannah Montana The Movie way better than I thought it would be. Great Story, and wonderful music.

The Rocker with Rainn Wilson, kind of a copy cat of School of Rock, which BTW, i loved. It was much less funny and a little more crude. Not something the kids should watch.

It's Fall!!! I love Fall for so many reasons! I was wondering if it would ever come!

I love the autumn air, I love the leaves Changing and crunching under my feet, I love that I got married in the Fall, I love Friday Night Football games ( I don't go anymore, but I used to love them as a teen) I love that I can burn a pumpkin candle, I love Halloween, did I mention that my anniversary is in the Fall?, I love canning (although I think I have done my share this year!) I lvoe that Christmas is right around the corner. I love Disneyland in the Fall, I love the new Fall television! I love 70 degree weather in the Fall. I think I could go on and on. You get the pic.

So SURVIVOR fans... What the crap is this Russell guy doing on this show. He is a slimy little man, who is just yucko ... should make for a great season though!

Oh my and Medium is now on CBS, not NBC...I was devastated when I thought it was cancelled. Office fans, I am really really hoping that Jim and Pam will get married! Oh how I love these shows.

well that is about it for now I must stop myself! My mind never stops going and going and going and going.....~E

Sunday School.

2009-09-20T19:01:00.004-06:00

In Sunday school today we talked about the Atonement. I walked in about 15 minutes late so I am sad to say I missed some of it. What I did get out of the lesson was amazing. It was one of those lessons that will stick with me all my life. We were reminded that Jesus Christ has rescued us, by atoning for our sins. We can liken that to other stories of rescue. Our fabulous Sunday School teacher Sister Olsen talked about when Brigham Young had to send help to a group of Pioneers who were stuck on the plains in the winter. How they had to go rescue these people who were 700 miles away. Then bring them home and nurse them back to health as if they were their own family. It took great sacrifice for the rescuers, and they were given little time to prepare... but they went, because that is what you do when people are in need, you go and ask questions later. Someone might need to be rescued physically or spiritually, whatever the reason we do it because Christ did it for us he paid the ultimate price. My family and I have been rescued and ironically enough we were on the midwestern plains as well. We have more rescuers than I will ever know, but here are some to name a few. Our Home Teachers, The Bishopric, Relief Society Presidency and all of the Cedar Falls LDS Ward. My Mom, Chuck, Amber and Brian who came 1100 mi. to rescue us, the family members who donated the RV to get me home, and the money to fill the tank with gas. The family who were here in Utah preparing our home for our arrival, Tara who threw a baby shower for me, the smithfield 1st ward who made meals, did yard work and many things I will never know. The parents of my kids' school, Cedar Heights, donated money to us as well. Even little children we didn't know that heard our story went through their toys and sent their very best ones to my kids. This is just to name a few of the rescuers we had. All of these people sacrificed for me and my family without giving it a second thought. I am truly grateful to have witnessed Heavenly Fathers Hands at work, and the miracles that happened. I have chills thinking about it all and a tremendous amount of gratitude for all of this. But, it is just a little compared to the amount of gratitude I have for the Atonement, and for Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father. I am grateful to be apart of such a beautiful plan, the gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. ~E

Random Thoughts.

2009-09-17T08:30:00.004-06:00

This is me. Most people that know me and look at this picture, probably don't recognize me in it. Because I only do my make-up and hair, once , maybe twice a week. Sad I know, but true. On Monday, I got a wild hair and decided to "get ready" for the day first thing. Surprisingly I think it made my day go much better. It was amazing how random people treated me much better, thus I felt better about myself, and for some reason that helped me be more productive. The Irony about it is, the reason I don't "get ready" everyday is because I feel like it will take away from my huge long list of chores that I need to get done! Side note- I want you all to know that just because I am not "ready" doesn't mean I am dirty, because no matter what I do have good hygiene :) just had to throw that out there. I have decided to do an experiment, I am going to get ready everyday next week. I am guessing that I may have a very productive week. We shall see. ~E

This and That and Nothing Much

2009-09-13T15:28:00.005-06:00

I had fun with the camera last night. I was hoping that maybe I had a talent for photography, but sadly I don't think so! But the pics are still fun. I have to say one of the best things to do is watching Wes with Sophie. It cracks me up. She had a great time helping him "wash" the jeep.

Wes decided to take his jeep on an excursion yesterday to the top of Mt. Logan with some buddies from high school. He had a great time. We are so lucky to live somewhere that offers so much in outdoor activities.

Last week We took the kids up to a condo in Bear Lake for 3 days, it was well worth the money! We had a blast. My kids are all fish. They love to swim. Sophie is way to brave when it comes to water! I have to be right with her all the time!

2009-09-11T17:38:00.002-06:00

Seriously I couldn't even think about letting the day do by without acknowledging the 8th Anniversary of the worst Terror attack on United Sates soil. 2993 people lost their lives, and according to wikkipedia 1 person has died from lung cancer that was directly related to the exposure from ground zero.

The morning was a lot like this morning at my house. Gracie was 4 months old and Hayden was 3. I wasn't feeling well and my house was a disaster. I was kind of having a poor me morning. As I sat on the couch and fed Gracie, I watched Hayden pile his toy tractor and trailer with is breakfast for the load. I turned on the TV to the today show right in time to see the second plane fly in to the WTC. The News Casters were all speechless, horrified as was I. Hayden looked up at the TV and gasped. He was only 3, and he felt the terror and strong emotion of it too. Immediately my pity party was over, I remember Hayden and I folding our arms and saying a prayer. I think I cried most of the day.

I just can't even begin to imagine how the victims and their families felt. I suspect that today is a very hard day for tens of thousands of people. My prayers are still with these people, our nation and it's leaders, my family and friends and especially my babies and their future. ~E

Yes, It's True.

2009-08-20T19:58:00.008-06:00

I did do the happy dance this morning after everyone left!!! It was just me and Sophie all day long. I kind of felt guilty that I was so happy, but, when I realized I had been smiling all day... eh- I was OK! Sophie on the other hand was devastated. She whined and cried and went room to room looking for her "playmates." Kind of sad and funny at the same time :)

My kids were so excited to go to school today, they had really started to get bored. They both woke up with much time to spare. Hayden says he couldn't sleep all night because he kept having dreams that he forgot his locker combination and forgot to wear his pants. I guess he was a little nervous, I never would have suspected. I on the other hand was so nervous for his first day of middle school you would have thought I was going...a Mothers love, right?

Gracie left for school so fast this morning when I went to take the picture of her on her bike, by the time I hit the button she was already gone, so I got a great picture of the mail box! She came home all smiles and said she made 2 new friends. She can't wait to get homework, loves her locker but lunch was AWFUL.

I am so happy to report that we all survived the first day of school. Bring on the rest of the year! To celebrate I even made brownies for tonight ( I hardly ever bake sweets, they are not good for you ; { )

That's all for now ~E

Brownies:

1 lb butter 4 c suger 3 c flour 8 eggs 3/4 c powder baking chocolate pinch of salt 2 tsp vanilla I bake in my large pampered chef bar pan at 350 for 30 min or until the top "Cracks" enjoy.

Fudge Frosting:

Melt- 1 cube butter, 3 Tablespoons Powder baking Chocolate, 2 Tablespoons corn syrup.

Add- 2 cups suger, 1 teaspoon vanilla, a pinch of salt

You may also add milk if it is too thick.

Gearing Up.

2009-08-17T20:49:00.006-06:00

Summer is coming to a close. School starts on Thursday (strange day to start?). I am still in denial that I am about to have a child in middle school. Just yesterday he was running around in a diaper with a big smile all the time!

Oh my Heavens do I hope he has a better middle school experience than I did. Maybe it is just one of those mandatory things in life "Middle School Must Suck for All." Who knows.

Hayden actually seems pretty calm and collected about it. Wes took him up to White Pine and they walked his schedule, I think he will be just fine. We and his psychologist had a few apprehensions about him going to a school so far away, as apposed to one that was closer. After a lot of thinking, pondering, and praying we decided to go ahead and have Hayden go to the school he is in the boundaries to. It could turn out to be just fine, and if he does have some psychological break down we can always reevaluate. On a side note. it was amazing how many people had an opinion on weather he should be able to switch schools to a closer school or go to the one he was assigned to. As if they were the ones in charge, oh well it's done and over for now.

I would like to thank all of you for your comments and emails in support of me. I am so grateful for any words of encouragement. Seriously, after I post an entry like that I always wonder if I am just a raving lunatic, it means so much to have my feelings validated in a way.

Thanks for all the positive vibes! Hugs to all!

So the last couple of weeks have been CRAZY. On one hand I am sad that it is the end of August, but on the other I love Fall!

Last Wednesday I gave a fireside to a girls camp before their testimony meeting. I didn't know anyone there, and I have been dreading it all summer. I have mentioned it before, but a few months ago I spoke in church and did horrific, so I was really nervous for this. I am pleased to report that this went much better. I will never get used to talking about what happened, mostly because I still can't believe it happened. HELLO a tornado wiped my material world off the face of the earth... so bazaar. But every time I speak about it to a group of people, I remember a new miracle that I was blessed with, a Tender Mercy from my Heavenly Father. I walked away from the campsite last week feeling overwhelmed with peace, and the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me, my family and our needs sometimes before we even have time to ask for help. I am blessed, and I am so very grateful.

We are in the last week of Tennis, I feel kind of bad because for most of the summer my kids have had to be out the door by 9 am for tennis or swimming, but it has been good for them. I have to think of ways to keep them active. Speaking of activity. My Personal Trainer has gotten married and moved away... so sad, for me, not for her. Our last workout was last Thursday and she tested me. No weight loss I am afraid, she was very surprised...I was not. BUT, on a good note I increased my core strength by half as well as my heart rate recovery time. I increased also in my endurance testing. I learned a lot from her and I know how far I can push myself, I will miss her. Hopefully I will be able to find something that works for me. Weather it's on my own or finding a workout partner or hiring another personal trainer. Who knows.

Now for an update on my Garden. It has been overtaken by weeds...dang! But there are a lot of green tomatoes just waiting to turn red!! I can't wait to make Salsa and Spaghetti sauce out of them. I have been canning my green beans... there is nothing better than green beans out of the garden! The picture above is of one of my zinnias they too are starting to bloom, oh how pretty they are!

Thats about it for now, the next time I blog my children will be at school... how lovely that will be:) ~E

Dedicated to the Ones I Love....

2009-08-10T12:14:00.001-06:00

hum...

2009-08-09T23:41:00.002-06:00

Well, I am thinking it has been a while. Things have been kind of a struggle lately. I can't really put my finger on it, but I believe it is still all coming from just dealing with the shock, loss and trauma of the tornado. Even as I write this I feel negative vibes because I know there are people who read my blog and just think get over it already. My thoughts to those are....your world has just kept on going, and my world in essence has still been spinning around that day in May 08.

It is something we are so sick of regurgitating but something that takes healing and lots of time. I think the reason I haven't blogged lately is because I really only like to blog happy positive things, and unfortunately this battle I face on a daily basis sometimes makes it hard to be positive all the time. I am breaking down tonight though because I know some of my readers who care are wondering where I have been.

It is really hard to heal when talking about what I went through is such taboo. I sit here in physical pain just thinking about it. And yet there are still people out there that judge me and my children when they hear us talk about it. Gosh it hurts. Recently there was a storm and we happened to be somewhere with a group of people and Hayden came in and made a few comments about the storm and how he was concerned. 2 grown adults looked at each other and rolled their eyes at him not knowing I saw. These people should know better.My son lives in terror everyday...for heaven sake I dream of trying to protect my family from a catastrophe every other night. just last week I was up all night because of the thunder...he is 11 years old shame on you for judging him.

This blog is really all I have, this blog is how I get my feelings out....and yet I still have to deal with ill will because of it. I have considered many alternatives. Going private, starting a new blog that no one knows about... but, I know I have readers that really do care and they far out weigh the ones who don't. I am grateful for my good friends and hope to make more. This is just a small taste of my world, I am so grateful for prayer because that is what is keeping me going. That is what gives me hope that my kids will be OK, that this event in their lives won't hurt them in a negative way, hopefully we will all come out stronger. God Bless you all and stay safe ~E

2009-08-06T10:08:00.003-06:00

The other night Hayden had one of his good buddies sleep over in the tent with him. I think they had fun. I was worried they wouldn't make it all night because at 1 am they were all still talking VERY LOUD! To my surprise I woke up in the morning to them laughing and still outside! The boys were so kind to let Graice sleep out with them. It really made her feel good. It was so nice to hear them having so much fun.

I have really struggled this summer with my energy level and I feel like I have let my kids down. I feel bad because I am definitely not the fun Mom who throws the big parties, I just hope nights like the other are memorable for my kids. I did go out and hang with them for a while and play cards, they were all really good poker players!

That's all for now, we have chores to do ~E

Finally...

2009-08-02T15:05:00.003-06:00

My house has been ripped up for over a month! It hasn't' made summer very easy for any of us. We were without the oven for 16 days! BUT, I am so happy to report that the end is near! Our laundry room that we added off the kitchen just needs some outlets finished and light fixtures put in. All my wood flooring is done! And, Wes and I got the painting finished. I am so excited. We just need to paint a little more trim, some doors and move some more furniture! hallelujah, maybe things will get back to normal! I still have deco to do, but that is the fun part and it takes time....sometimes years especially when you are starting from scratch;-)

Splish Splash

2009-08-02T14:24:00.005-06:00

Sophie Chillin'

Gracie drying off with Oscar!

Sophie being amazed with her toy!

Little Miss Attitude!

Sisters!

Posing for Dad!

Yesterday I had lots of errands to run so Wes stayed behind with the kids. He decided it would be fun to fill up the pool and have a swim. He said it was the best time! Bth girls loved it and it only took Sophie a few minutes to get used to the water! What a great Dad he is to do this with the Girls!

Just Busy!

2009-07-21T07:24:00.002-06:00

It's been forever since I have sat down long enough to blog. Wow, I can't believe how bad I actually feel about that! So much has been going on I don't even know if I could ever get it all down. I thought I would just make a quick list of everything for future reference if i need anything to blog about. So here goes...

Dad came and went, and is now back again.
Niece's baptism
Wes' Birthday
Girls Camp (4 days of roughing it in the wild with 15 teenagers)
Wood floors and new paint(ugh...I am so sick of painting!)
Harry Potter!
Personal Training Progress
Sophie's 12 mo check up (19 lbs)
Sophie is Walking
Swimming lessons
Book group at my house

Still on the Calender for July!
July 24th (Utah's birthday)
Bunco at my house

August:

My Dad's birthday
My sisters birthday
My nieces Birthday
kids in tennis
speaking engagement
book group
school shopping
school starts
mini vacation somewhere?
take young women to Bear Lake

After writing those lists I feel like summer is already over! Seriously? I have said it before, time flies! I am holding up amazingly well. I don't remember ever being so busy. i am so glad that I have been working with my trainer because I have had a lot more energy. What a blessing that has been. I am very fortunate. I can't wait to post pictures of all my endeavours, I think I will have to figure out how to do a slide show because i have s many! i will get around to it probably next week. until then this is all I have. Stay happy and Safe! ~E
book group

Another tear jerker for me...love this song!

2009-07-06T11:07:00.000-06:00

July 4th

2009-07-05T22:49:00.002-06:00

It has come and gone. I am always so surprised when it sneaks up on me. i feel like the Summer has just begun... and now that it is over the summer is really going to fly by.

My Dad and Leilani have been down for the 4th. So we have had a lot going. The Logan fireworks are always on the 3rd of July. And it is a tradition to hang out with family and friends and watch them. This year we watched from Wes' sisters house in Hyrum. Believe it or not we could still see them. The kids all had a great time and played in the water. We had a great BBQ and just hung out. It was nice.

On July 4th we headed to Bear Lake. My sister Natelli, my Dad and Leilani and us. Now the conditions of the lake were less favorable then I prefer, but regardless it was an adventure. It was Sophie's first time over there. And I must say she loves to eat sand...YUCK. We all got raspberry shakes after and headed home. When it got dark Wes put on a great fire cracker show for us.

Today (the 5th) we had a BBQ at Amber's and we all sat around and told stories and laughed. All in all a great weekend. My Dad and I went on a 5 mi bike ride straight up a hill and it felt great.

I have decided that without friends and family Holidays would just be another day. I love mine and hope they all know it.

I know I have been slacking off on my blogging, I will try to do better. Hopefully all of you have had a great weekend! ~E

150th Celebration!

2009-07-05T22:20:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago our church Ward (parish,congregation) celebrated it's 150Th birthday. We reenacted the first settlers trek into our town. Each family created some kind of covered wagon or handcart and we all "trekked 6 blocks". On the trek we listened to Jim Bridger (Brother Downs), were attacked by Indians, and got to listen to Wes' Parents who were dressed up as pioneers, tell us a story about Wes' great, great grandparents.

After Trekking we all ate a nice dutch oven dinner, played pioneer games and had a wonderful fireside. Wes played his guitar and did a wonderful job. At this point Sophie and I went home, and Wes, Hayden and Gracie set up the tent.

I came home and enjoyed my night alone. I actually watched a movie all by myself and it was fabulous. I adore my family, but sometimes it is just nice to have alone time.
I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic and loved it! I had just finished the movie and was getting ready for bed and here come Wes and Gracie. My poor little girl had an upset stomach and lost dinner right in her Dads face as they all slept. Poor Wes also, he dove out of the tent and lost his too...giggle...anyway she came home ad slept with me. Wes went back and finished out the night with Hayden. I was a great Ward Party everyone enjoyed it. We had a huge showing over 300 people. I appreciate so much of what the pioneers did for me and my family. They are such a good example for us to follow. nothing was easy for them, but they never gave up. They forged their way t this great town I live in and I am so thankful. i have a huge testimony of Genealogy. I love to hear the stories of the past. Hopefully when I am long gone and this blog is floating around someone can be inspired by my words like I have been from so many of my ancestors.

Inspiration by Music

2009-06-25T08:01:00.003-06:00

I have lots to do today, I had a wonderful workout with Rachel. Now I have got to get everything else done. Sometimes music is the best form of inspiration for me, it just gets me going. This is my get up and go piece as of late enjoy.....hope it gives you chills as it does me! ~E

11

2009-06-23T05:00:00.004-06:00

My first born, hayden is 11 yrs old today! I don't know where the time has gone. I remember the day I had him like it was yesterday. Hayden and I have always had a special bond. Clear back when I was pregnant with him. My pregnancy was not an easy one, if fact, it was the hardest out of my 3 kids. When I finally did have him, he was 3 weeks early due to me having HELLP syndrome. I had a very severe case. We litterally both had to fight for our lives. After 33 hours of Labor he was finally born. He was very quiet when he was fist born. A very sick little baby. The doctor and nurses had to work on him for a while before he was stable. The one thing I will never forget is that after he was stabalized enough for the move to the NICU, they were wheeling him passed and I said "hi baby". At that moment he opened his eyes and look right at me. Then he closed them again. It took everyone's breath away. He hadn't shown any signs of vitality until that moment. I didn't get to see him again for almost 3 days, we were both too sick. When I finally did though, I remember just being so happy to have him.

Hayden is brilliant, sensitive, caring, funny, and wise beyond his years. He is alway amazing me in someway. He is a wonderful big brother, and both of his sisters adore him. He looks just like his dad and takes pride in it. I am very lucky and privlaged to be his Mother. I Love You Hayden! Happy Birthday!

Weekend Rundown

2009-06-22T11:18:00.002-06:00

We had a great weekend! It was really low key and that's how we like it. Of course it rained most of the time, but, the more rain the better because the less I need to move the sprinklers around my yard. Here's the rundown of the last couple days.

Friday:

Wes and I took Gracie and Sophie into town to buy some birthday presents. Gracie insisted on going to the mall. I really am not a fan of the cache valley mall, but it was all worth it because Gracie kept repeating "I am having the time of my life"...too funny. She is such a girl.

While at the mall Wes and I made the purchase of a WII FIT and the WII ACTIVE. These are exercise programs that to the Nintendo Wii. It's been pretty fun so far. I haven't gotten my heart rate up high enough on the Fit though, so I am hoping the active will do it. My homework from my trainer for everyday is 10 min warm up 45 min high intensity cardio, with that I have very little leeway on where my heart rate should be. Then a 10 min cool down and 15 min strength. I get bored easy so I am always try to find new things to do.

When we got the kids to bed, Wes and I settled down to watch a movie. We are both history buffs and so we had been anxious to see Valkyrie (WWII movie) It wasn't that great. Disappointing.

Saturday:

We woke right up and Wes and I went for a 6 mile bike ride...45 min of it straight up hill. Great work out! We then cleaned house. While I was cleaning Wes took the back deck down. We are going to do a patio (cement) and an awning. I have really never liked the deck. It was pretty small and always attracted wasps. Not to mention staining it was a chore. i am pretty excited about the patio.

Sad story, Oscar disappeared when we let him out Saturday night. I stayed up all night worrying. He showed up the next morning limping bad. His hips hurt and his front leg. We think he got trampled by the sheep in the back. Poor little guy. As much as I say I want to get rid of him some days, it broke my heart to see him hurting. Darn Dog!

Sunday (Fathers Day):

A couple of my kids have been sick on and off so Wes stayed home with them from church. I woke up and took Sophie with me. Can I just say, she is getting much harder to take care of at church. She is not wanting to sit still anymore! Can't wait until she is 18 mo old and can to nursery!

I came home and made blueberry pancakes for brunch and we all sat around the table and had good conversation and enjoyed each other. Then of course naps!! I love Sunday Naps. When I got up I made a roast, potatoes, biscuits and broccoli for dinner. It wasn't that great, I felt bad. I always cook my roast on low heat, with the exception to the first hour. For that I cook on a medium heat. Well, I forgot to turn the oven down and whal-lah we had a very well done roast. To top it off, I went to peel potatoes and realized I was out of them...ugh. We had to have instant, boo. Wes was so sweet not to complain he just kept thanking me. What a good guy he is! We wrapped up the night after the kids went to bed with another WWII movie. It was called Defiance. It was way good. Rated R though, but still I thought very mild compared to Saving Private Ryan. It is a true story. If you are into history this is a story I had not heard before. it's about Jews living in the forest trying to evade the Germans. Fascinating!

So now it's Monday morning, the house is trashed and I have a lot to do this week. As I was contemplating how I really hate Mondays, and how I feel like the mess never ends, and my life feels like ground hog day over and over...ya know the movie? I realized how silly I was being. I am so grateful to live where I live. Enjoy the freedoms I enjoy. I have a home, it is safe. I am warm. I do not need to worry about where my family will be getting it's next meal, or if we will die of exposure. I am not being hunted because of my race or my religion. My worries are so small in the grand scheme of things. People didn't just have to live in bad conditions during world war II, I believe these horrific conditions still exist now in the world. I am so blessed and so grateful to be where I am. No matter how disastrous my house seems to be. With that, after watching that movie last night, I am also so amazed at the strength of the human spirit. I really believe that if you can stay strong spiritually, it directly affects what you can endure physically. How amazing the Human Spirit really is. ~E

Good Times and Some Awesome Encouragement!

2009-06-19T22:26:00.002-06:00

Wow, it's been a while! It's so super busy around our house lately! This summer we have already had Family from Washington visit, 1 birthday, a session of tennis lessons, several golf tournaments, a movie, a recital, a baptism, a hike and there is still so much more to come!

I have been working my "behind" off lately, literally. I have decided that hiring a personal trainer has been a huge blessing. I have always loved to workout but haven't always made it a priority. It's always been a luxury, at least since I have had kids. The nice thing about having the trainer is that I am accountable to her, she gives me assignments that I have to do. Also I am paying for it, so I don't want my money to go to waste. I love that she pushes me , and also that she counts for me, that way I can concentrate on the exercises other than how many I have done. I meet with her twice a week at 6 am. Waking up has been the hardest part. On Thursday I was up at 5:30, and when i walked out to the kitchen Hayden was out there. He was surprised to see me because I am not a morning person. As I was walking out the door to leave he said "Mom, I am really proud of you for getting up and going to exercise." I was stunned, and so touched that he would think to say that to me. It made my day...and it made all the huffing and puffing worth and aches and pains worth it!

Speaking of exercise. I signed up my kids for tennis lessons. My hope was that they would like it and benefit from the exercise. We just finished up the first 2 week session and I must say my kids had a lot of fun. Hayden especially loved it! He wants to play everyday. I think I am going to have to learn how to play. It was so fun to go watch him and Gracie. Every time they hit the ball there faces just lit up! We have another session in August to look forward to.

Last weekend Wes' brother came down with his little family. They came for a funeral and were able to spend some time up at my in-laws. We don't see them too often and it was a nice visit. We had their 2 oldest kids Dallin and Braden sleep over Saturday night. They all hunkered down in the basement and watched some movies. They had a blast. I over heard Hayden tell Dallin the next morning that he was sad they couldn't spend more time together. I was so happy to know that even though they only see each other for at the most 24 hours a year, they could still bond as cousins.

Although it has been raining so much, Wes has still been able to get tons of golfing in. He cracks me up, whenever he drives the ball really good he sends me a text. I love when he goes golfing because he comes home in such a good mood! Today he went and I got this text " I hurt my back. I fell out of the cart and rolled 3 times." OK, so when I got this I was sitting in the doctors office with my girls waiting for the Doctor...we had been waiting over an hour. So when I got the text i couldn't help but laugh. I sent him back a text " Did anyone have a video camera, you should have been walking." ha ha I always forbid him from getting a cart because I want him to get exercise, and he always gets the cart!

Tuesday we had a hike planned for the Young Men and Young Women. I wasn't sure if it was gong to happen because of the rain. I decided to tell my trainer to work me really hard that day, so she did. I did all kinds of squats and step drills. To say the least I was soar. And guess what, we still did the hike. It was perfect weather. The hike was a killer, I was already fatigued when I started and after 2 and a half hours of hiking I was so tired. Side story one third of the way up the mountain I lost my footing and fell over the side. Oh my gosh it was funny and terribly scary all at the same time. Lucky for me I caught a branch and 2 of the other leaders were there help me up. When I got home Wes gave me one look and I think he knew exactly what had happened. I was covered in mud and all scratched up. It was quite an adventure.

Summer is just flying by. Soon it will be over. But, between now and then we still have some things to do.

1. Hayden's birthday is Tuesday. I am still trying to finalize the plans.

2. Our wood floor arrives next week! We will be having that installed in the next few weeks. So we have to paint before. I am not excited about the painting part.

3. Next weekend is our ward camp out.

4. My Dad is coming on the 4th

5. Girls camp

6. I have book group and bunco at my house in July

7. Swimming lessons

8. Wes' birthday

9.Wes and I have 2 more speaking engagements.

10. another tennis session

11. hopefully a vacation

I am sure there is more but that is all that comes to mind right now. I think I am all caught up now, I plan on being a little better about blogging, maybe...for now it's time for bed ~E

1

2009-06-12T22:17:00.002-06:00

Sophie turned 1 today! We all danced around and sang to her all day. I have no idea if she had any clue it was her birthday, but, we all had fun with it. She has been such an amazing blessing to our family. Although I always say what a huge surprise she was, really when I think about it, I know she couldn't have come at a more perfect time for all of us. Yes, she is 10 yrs younger than Hayden and 7 years younger than Gracie. But Heavenly Father knew all along that we would need her this year. Being pregnant with her when we were in Iowa made our time there exciting. Having her a couple weeks after the tornado was so therapeutic for all of us. She was the light in an otherwise dark time for us. I am so very thankful for my Heavenly Father, his knowledge, his impeccable timing and his mercies.

My little Sophie is as cute as a button. She looks just like her Grandpa Godfrey, and has his temperament too. She just goes with the flow. Her smile says it all. She is almost always grinning. She growls when she laughs. One of her favorite things to do is tease Oscar. She adores her brother and sister. And no matter how big of a mess she makes I could still just gobble her up she is so stinking cute. She makes can always make her Dad smile, she is always so happy to see him when he gets home from work. She is fantastic!

We love you Sophie! Happy Birthday!

WHO KNEW?

2009-06-09T22:12:00.004-06:00

- that hiring a personal trainer would be so beneficial. Today was my first visit and it was awesome! A little bit of bragging here...she was way surprised at how much I could do and my recovery times! She mostly tested me to see where I was at cardio wise. She also tested my core strength which was pretty good, considering I have now had 2 emergency c-sections. I am so dang excited about this new venture, I go back Thursday morning and we are going to hit the weights. Side note....high school football players, STINKY! Oh my gosh, of course they had to be there the same time I was. I can't believe they are already practicing, school has only been out for 1 week!

-That my kids would LOVE tennis lessons so much! Neither of them have ever played. We bought them tennis racquets last month, and they have been playing against the garage door. So, of course I was surprised when Hayden came out and said that they moved him to the advanced class because he was so good! Very Cool! Gracie loved it too. I am so excited to have found something they both like and can do together.

-that we could ever get too much rain. Seriously we live in the dessert. But it has been raining for a week straight and going on 10 more days! My tomatoes are not looking to great. They certainly do not like the hail!

- The movie "UP" was so good! We loved it. Monday night we all loaded up the car and went on the spur of the moment. Sophie cam along too, and did pretty good. It doesn't matter how old you are, this movie is a must see!

Alright, it's time for bed. hopefully tomorrow will go just as well as today plus maybe I can get some house work done. Happy Dreams ~E

My Garden

2009-06-08T10:20:00.004-06:00

I love everything about my garden. It seems to e doing very well thanks to the torrential rain we have been having. I can even see my Zinnia's peeking up through the dirt! They are my absolute favorite summer flower. I can't wait to be able to cut them fresh and have them all over the house! I don't know why but gardening for me is empowering, I love being able to produce my own food! I am even learning how to love the dirty feet that comes along with it.

" If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden. " — Frances Hodgson Burnett (The Secret Garden)

My Beautiful Daughter

2009-06-06T22:32:00.003-06:00

Gracie was Baptized to today as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She is such a sweet little girl. The day did not go smoothly, in fact the whole weekend was a disaster. Things started heading south Friday. I was so worried about the party not being just perfect that I thought about delaying it. Some people couldn't make it, other people chose not to make it. I was just so worried about it and I lost sight of what the whole day was a about. Gracie, and her choice to be Baptized. The only thing today that needed to go right today, was her making a choice to always remember Jesus Christ and what he did for her. And a promise to follow him and keep his commandments. It went beautifully, She and Wes did amazingly. That is all that really matters.....Not the cute table decorations, or the perfect spread of food or even the people that were there. All that needs to be remembered is that she was there with her Dad, and her Heavenly Father, at the right time and in the right place. Today the 1 good thing that happened out shined all of the rest and made it all worth it in the end. That is what counts. ~E

Let The FUN Begin!

2009-06-04T08:45:00.003-06:00

As a mother I always feel so accomplished on the last day of school! Weird, I know. knowing that I got both kids to school, and they both have passed another grade is such a relief. It is so not easy getting them up and ready, and some days begging them to get out of the car! I am so glad for the break! Today they will be home by noon. My sister Amber and her Husband are celebrating their 10th anniversary this weekend, so I have their kids coming home with mine. I am going to have a full house of very excited kids! Tonight they are all going to My Moms and Chucks for a sleep over. My sis Nat is coming up too! Fun Times!

Tuesday night we had an awesome Thunderstorm! Terrifying to my kids, but really amazing. My young Women were over and got to see first hand how crazy my family is....poor girls. Never a dull moment at my house during a storm! Afterwords it took a few hours to calm my kids down. Now that it is summer I will be getting them back into the psychologist more frequently.

Yesterday we got half our garden planted. in the past I have done up to 40 tomato plants. This year just 12. I am so fine with that, I just hate to feel overwhelmed. We also got our Green Beans in. I still need to get the cucumbers in , pumpkins, squash and potatoes. I will bottle my tomatoes and make salsa. i will bottle the green beans, and make pickles out of the cucumbers. The rest we just eat fresh.

I finally broke down and hired a personal trainer. I love to exercise, but making the time to do so is always my last priority. I can't help putting my family ahead of myself. It's my nature. It's no secret since having children I am Large....chubby whatever. But, you know what I will Never give up! Weight Watchers, personal trainer, hypnotism at night.....it's all worth it, as long as I do my best and I know it, that is all that matters....fat for the rest of my life ...or not. I don't know why Heavenly Father has chosen this to be my life experience ( I hate to say challenge) , but, I am sure there is something myself or someone around me is supposed to learn. Oh well, I am so excited to start with the trainer, I can barely contain myself :) 110% that is what I plan on giving to this :)

Things are still going to stay busy for the summer, but it is all fun. Gracie and Hayden are both taking tennis at the Sports Academy, Hayden is golfing every Wednesday in Preston. Wes' Brother will be down next week. My dad is coming over the 4th of July and again around he 24th of July. We plan on taking the kids to the Redwoods sometime. It all kicks of this weekend with Gracie's baptism and Piano recital!

YAY for Summer! YAY for fun! ~E

T for Tuesday!

2009-06-02T09:40:00.004-06:00

Time is flying bye far to quickly. I am kind of in shock that in Two days another school year will be complete. I have To admit That it Troubles me a bit, To Think That The year went by so quickly. I completely understand The quote "Enjoy The Journey", because in The long run it's over before we know it!

The World Through Gracie's Eyes....and 10's

2009-05-30T08:01:00.005-06:00

10 things I am doing today:

Clean up

Plant Garden

Go for a bike ride

make something yummy

read a book

attend a party

make a menu for Gracie's Baptism brunch

Shop for some food

take oscar for a grooming

help Hayden with his last school project

9 things I did this past week

helped hayden with his History fair project on Dwight Eisenhousr

went to watch Gracie in her class program

bike rides

attended a wedding

watched the YW do a fabulous sewing project

went to lunch with Wes

went to the movie Angel and Demons with Wes

Tried a new recpie on the Grill

Went and got ice cream with our wonderful friends the durrants

8 words Sophie is trying to say

hello....lello

bottle.....boyo

there you go .....deyougo

hayden....haayyyen

mom...mamama

daddy....dayee

7 words or phrases I say on a regular basis:

Oh Crap!

Are you kiddin' me?

No Way...

OH No!

OSCAR!

HAYDEN!

GRACIE

6 things on the To Do list for next week

Find a personal trainer

stick to wieght watchers

go with Gracie to get a dress for her big day

enjoy some of my final days alone with Sophie for the summer

try to new recipies

weed my flower beds

ok let's pretend I did the rest of this...I gotta get going!

happy weekend~E

Snap Out Of It...self.

2009-05-29T22:11:00.002-06:00

The week is winding down. We have surpassed the year mark. And, I really still don't have the words to express all of the things I am feeling. I am so grateful for my adversities. Please don't get me wrong. With all this Adversity, Heavenly Father, has entrusted me with Miracles, just thinking about them gives me butterflies.

When I say entrusted I really feel like he has done such amazing things for my family and I, that I have a responsibility to share what has happened and what I've learned. I feel some pressure.

Sunday I had the opportunity to address our church congregation. I stood up and I froze. All of the sudden the feelings and thoughts that I was experiencing were to overwhelming to share. My tongue was tied, I couldn't make out what my note cards said, I felt like if I were to speak I was going to be baring my most interpersonal soul....so strange being that I have already spoken 2 times prior to this.

In High School I was on the Debate team, and amongst other things, I competed in extemporaneous speaking. If you don't know what that is, I will explain. You are given a random topic and expected to be able to go in front of judges within 10 or so minutes. Your goal is to give a speech on the topic... and, if you have no idea what the topic is... you better make them believe you do! I always did very well, mostly because I read every Newsweek and Time Magazine I could get a hold of...and, anything else.

I relay this because, standing up on Sunday to tell everyone of the blessings and miracles I had witnessed and the lessons learned was the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. I don't no if I let my nerves get the best of me....not really my nature to be nervous. I don't know if satan got the best of me, or if maybe there were people who did not want to hear what I had to say.....or maybe it was some kind of lesson I am supposed to learn. What ever it is I don't regret standing up, I know there was a reason, what the reason is ...not sure. I imagine I will know sometime, I will keep reflecting on it and maybe it will come to me.

Wes gave a beautiful talk after me. He so very eloquent. My two beautiful children also spoke a few things. Hayden's was very tender. He expressed the fact that he was grateful that we had the tornado room. Which is a huge deal. Everyone that came to see our house when we first bought it would laugh when they saw that shelter. They would all say "you will never need that" In Hayden's eyes and mine we can see that shelter was a gift from God...A Tender Mercy sent to us, our saving Grace. Gracie got up and spoke. She mentioned that the tornado was the day before memorial day, and paused and said "We were almost apart of Memorial Day" very a matter of fact-ly... it brought the house down, it was so cute.

In honor of our anniversary we all went Saturday and each picked out a tree to plant. So many big beautiful trees were lost to the world that day... we wanted to give back. Hopefully we will plant them tomorrow and I can put up some pics.

I am grateful for this world of blogging... it is so therapeutic. I may even sleep tonight, I am emotionally exhausted. Love to all ~E

Are you trying to "Butter me up"?

2009-05-28T21:11:00.005-06:00

I keep Body Butter on Sophie's Changing table because she has such dry skin. Every night after her bath I give her the lid to play with and I give her a rub down. So, the other day I walk in after her nap that has lasted unusually long. I think I gasped, screamed gasped some more then hysterically called Wes in....she is now tall enough to reach the body butter...and she was in heaven!

1 Year....

2009-05-25T11:38:00.003-06:00

Stiil hurts like it was yesterday, most grateful to be happy, healthy and alive today :)

PRODUCTIVITY....and a bit more.

2009-05-22T22:40:00.005-06:00

It's been a long time since I have felt like I have accomplished anything. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that last night I went to bed at 8 pm, and I was able to wake up and get going early this morning. Now, for those of you who don't know my usual bedtime is 12am. Guess I really need to go to bed earlier on a regular basis. ( I write this as the clock turns 11pm.) LOL

My acomplishments for today:

Treadmill

Grocery Shopping

Movie with Wes

Pedicure

Made Raspberry Jam...Now all my Jam is done for the Year!!!

dishes

blogging in a quiet house.

I know that list doesn't look huge...but the fact that I went to multiple places is a very good thing.

Tomorrow Gracie has early morning piano lessons. I am thinking I will wake up and run on the TM again. Wes and I are then going in to Logan to the dump, Sam's club for tramp, then to the garden store. We plan on getting a Tree to plant in honor of our 1 yr anniversary of the Tornado. Also we are getting seeds to plant Green Beans, Potatos and Tomatoes. Not sure if we will be able to plant tomorrow, but for sure by Monday night we will get it planted.

I am uploading a video of Sophie...it is so cute! Also a picture of my pretty toe nails...love the Flower!

PS
I can't get the cute video to upload, I will keep trying.
To my FB friends, it did upload to Facebook so you can watch it there.

I Struggle

2009-05-20T10:00:00.002-06:00

It's true, doesn't everyone once in a while?

Do to stress and weakness, I have gained all the weight back that I lost in 6 weeks amount of time. A combination of diet, exercise and biology is to blame. I have been eating way too much sugar. Note to self: Don't take Wes to Sam's club when he is starving , because you walk out with all kinds of crappy foods (yummy, with no nutritional value.) He is not all to blame though. He didn't have to force feed me. I also think that with all the stress of the last month it has been really hard for me to muster up the strength to do rigorous excise. I am not the type of person who can get away with a leisurely walk and count it as exercise. I have to sweat and get my heart rate up for at least 40 min. Props to me last night, I had a great treadmill workout and strength workout while i watched American Idol. It was refreshing. And I have to thank Wes for his patience because my jogging was not quiet, and he refrained from complaining. The biology part of this is a peculiar thing. When I am stressed out I retain massive amounts of water...that is how my body reacts to stress. Some people lose hair, get zits, lose weight, I bloat. It's a huge menace to me.

Regardless of how I feel.....I have a goal to meet by next March, and I plan on meeting it. So I am standing up and dusting off. I will not let myself lose this, I want it too bad. I am recommitting to WW and also exercise. I love my new bike, but it is for leisure not exercise. I also have been doing some night mediation and hypnotism Cd's (ipod) I think they are helping. I have said it before and strongly believe in mind over matter! Enough said.

So I am seriously thinking about getting certified to do foot zoning. I am a firm believer in energy healing especially the reflexology/foot zoning modality. I have a great friend that practices reflexology among other things. She worked on me once or twice a week while I was in Iowa. My Pregnancies have always been so hard, but this last one was made easier because of the work she did. I have been lost without her. I have some leads on some people that can treat me, but, I think I want to learn it so I can treat my family. As everyone and their dogs know the tornado anniversary is quickly approaching. Although I feel we have all coped very well with the trauma, we are all manifesting issues from the post traumatic stress. Things are just barely starting to surface. I truly believe that there is healing that can be done through zoning. It will be an adventure I think. I am excited, I love to help people so hopefully i can find a good teacher.

This weekend Wes, myself, Hayden and Gracie are all going to be speaking in church. I thought we were done speaking about the tornado, but it looks like it will be one last time. It is challenging because it is the 1 yr anniversary this weekend. It will be emotional. It is very hard to open up about, hopefully those who have already had to hear it will be patient and not upset that they have to hear it all again. Pray for us.

That's about all for now, tonight is Bunco, YAY! Hope all is well in your world ~E

Coming Events

2009-05-18T09:14:00.002-06:00

Life is getting a little bit more busy as school is winding down. It is all quite exciting! HOORAY for summer!

Weekend Update:

Friday, Wes and I left The kids (Hayden in charge) and went to the matinee! We were able to see Star Trek. Can I just say "WHAT A GREAT MOVIE"! I am not a trekky, in fact having to sit through an episode would make me want to vomit in my mouth, but the movie was fantastic!

Saturday was the day that would never end. Seriously. Wes volunteered at a fund raiser for ALS in the name of Sara Lee (Who he works for). He cooked Hot Dogs from 11-3. Then at 8, he had to go cook with the Lions club at the blue sox game (local baseball team). I went with my Mom in the morning to buy fabric for some quilts she is making, and took some leisurly bike rides and that is about it. One thing, it is finally heating up a bit and we went to turn our air conditioning on and it won't work....that made for a couple more than warm days in my house.

Sunday we attended church. We were privlaged to hear some great talks about family. We came home and relaxed. I made pork roast for dinner with garlic potatos and broccoli. We went for a family bike ride then we all settled in and watched survivor. It ended fine but I was disappointed that Taj didn't make it into the finals. That wraps up the weekend.

Today:
Dentist
LAUNDRY
Piano (Gracie)
AC repair guy
family bike ride

This week:
Kids dentist
YW
Bunco
I have some nieces and nephews birthdays.
1 yr anniversary weekend of Tornado
Memorial Day Weekend
Wes' bussiest week of the year for work.
Our Family is speaking in Church on Sunday.

Over the coming months:
Friend from Iowa coming to visit
Gracie gets baptized
Gracie piano recital
Ward Party
Sophie birthday
Haydens Birthday
Girls Camp
Wes Birthday
Swimming lessons
Tennis Camp
Golf Lessons
camping
Bear Lake

I am off to the Dentist, Yay. Hoping you all have a great day ~E
July 4th