Unanswered Prayer....

I've been thinking alot lately about how life has changed so much in the last year. Especially from May 25Th. Some changes are very hard to swallow, but the good out ways the bad by far; we are better people now, stronger, humbled, more faithful. Far more Grateful for the little things, little moments, every breath given. We realize life is short, we need to make each day count. Things can change so quickly.

Something that I think about everyday, is an unanswered prayer that day, offered by me, cried out loud in fear. There were actually 2 prayers that day given by me, both at the same time. The other one was answered. The other was a prayer of the heart, quiet pleading that I am so grateful was answered.

I knew it was coming, I knew that the Tornado was coming. I felt something the whole day. Something was off....I monitored the weather all day long. I was calm, going into the storm room I felt safe. Wes offered a prayer that made us all feel calm. But, When the storm was over us, and I could feel the pressure, and I was breathing in falling concrete. The fear of a mother came upon me...I screamed out a prayer asking the Lord to please take us all, please don't leave any of us alive without the others. Thoughts ran through my mind, flashed of my kids being left without Wes or i or both of us gone.....I asked this prayer in fear. In my heart another prayer was asked simultaneously as the other...please let us all live...this prayer was heard, it was loud and clear, it was a pleading in faith...it was answered. I have struggled, I have felt shame for letting the fear get to me. I have struggled with the fact that I asked for us to die. My son heard this prayer, he heard me ask for this. Something I didn't even know until our counseling session. I am sooo grateful the prayer of my heart won out, I am so grateful the Lord saw my faith through my fear. We are all alive. i am grateful for Wes' strength and for his faith, for his prayer.

My family and I are grieving, we are sensing loss, we are healing. Life changed that day. We can't even explain it....it is not easy, especially because we had to move so quickly. I wonder if it would have been easier being around others who knew what we had been through. Our friends and family and community have been great. I have no complaints, only gratefulness. But, we are having a hard time, connecting, expressing our loss. It's hard to just step right back into life with a smile. I pray for help and guidance. I pray for my kids to only take away the positive. I know Heavenly Father will hear me and do what is best and needed for us.

I am grateful for my unanswered prayer that day. I am grateful for my life and for the precious lives of my family....I will never take life for granted. I will never take my children for granted. I will never take my faith for granted. Amen

Done....Finished....Ready for a New Chapter

As I type, Wes is loading up a truck with the rest of the salvaged items from our life prior to the Tornado...gut wrenching...but time. I sent off all the insurance paperwork I have been working on, today. YES!!! I am so ready to be done with insurance companies, I am sure I still have a little to do but the bulk is done!
This weekend I will clean with no worries about anything! *big sigh here*


I am seriously wondering how big this storm that is coming right for us is going to be, will it really snow? When I think of snow I get a little bit excited! I still need it to be Autumn for a bit longer though....

Hope everyone has a nice Friday ~E




"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." — Friedrich Nietzsche

List

Ok, the clock is ticking I have to have all insurance stuff in mail tomorrow, maybe tonight. Side note here, for all you folks who think your possessions are covered on your home owners, they are not. Unless you can prove what you had, you will see nothing. The insurance company we went through will make out like bandits on our case, cause lots of my proof is in the Land of Oz!

My List-
Laundry, Laundry and more Laundry

Go make copies of all content lists and 7 yrs of bank statements

Highlight and cross reference contents list, bank statements and snapshots (thank heaven 2 weeks before tornado the holy ghost told me to get our photos into the storm room, cause that is all the proof I have, thank goodness I listened.

go copy and print photos

put everything in dhl envelopes and send

wash my hands of insurance and be prepared to get nothing from them

It's time, to take everything we salvaged to the dump, I am shaking just as I type this. It has been really hard the last few days to go through everything, every time I look at something I miss in pics, or see pics from the day before tornado and how we were so happy, or see the portraits (what is left of them) it is like a knife in the chest. i am soo ready to move on. It will be good to finally be done and say good bye to the ruins. I took pics of it and I will tuck them away and look at them when I ever I need a little humbling. We are alive and we are so blessed.

I am making manicotti from scratch, hoping Hayden can handle it.

I will attempt to clean al little! It is going to snow Saturday so I want a clean house so that i can read all day, in my dreams right/ A girl can dream.....;)

Ok love ya'll ~E

Wide Awake

It is officially tomorrow so i guess I'll blog. It's 12:35 AM and I am wide awake....I think I am so tired that I can't sleep. I have so many things running through my mind.

Tonight was Young Womens. We tied to baby quilts. The girls did awsome! I think all of the girls in my ward are fabulous. I always am in such a great mood when I get home. These girls are great examples to me. They are growing up during such harsh times, but also exciting times. They all strive to let their light shine, amazing girls, who all have a very strong faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am so grateful to be able to serve them!

Sophie has dicovered her hands! oops I slipped, Lollie, ya know I think I will forgo the nick names, I can't keep real names straight, the nick names are killing me! Anyways...back to sophies hands. She pulls her binkie out the second it goes in! Then she can't put it back in her mouth, it makes her so mad!

Because I have 1/2 hour left before I need to go check on Hayden, I have time to add a pic of me and wes. To go along with it I think I will write about our very first date, here goes...

Feb 4th 1995

We were set up by all of our friends. We both happened to be 3rd wheels while all our best friends were dating each other. So what the heck we might as well go out on a date so we don't have to feel left out. I knew I was going on this date for 5 days before he actually got the nerve to ask me out, the night before, I was like yeah, I'll go, I was going anyway even if you don't ask me. So I woke up the day of with the worst cold ever. I was so sick. I remember thinking I just didn't want to go at all, but because he did call, I couldn't cancel. So I took some nyquil and hoped I would at least stay awake. The plan was that all of us friends, about 4 or 5 couples would all pile in vans and head to SLC, Go to dinner, then to a laser light show (Pink Floyd). When Wes arrived to pick me up my mom had just arrived home from work so she looks him up and down and says "Who the heck are you, and what do you want" I was like oh great, and Wes was like hmmm her mom is nuts. So we get in the van with 2 other couples. Wes and I take the back bench, the longest bench. We sat very far away from each other. I was nice, but I felt like crap. He thought I was stuck up I am sure! We get to SLC, and go to the Olive garden. We sat by each other and didn't say a word most of dinner. I ordered fettuccine he got spinach fettuccine (Florentine). Toward the end of dinner, he told a really dry joke ( he is famous for his jokes, he always is the first one to laugh at his jokes too!) So he starts laughing at this joke that really wasn't that funny (sorry babe, love me?) then there was a delayed laugh from everyone around us. I people sitting directly across from us were crying they were laughing so hard. This made Wes laugh harder at himself. I finally for the first time all night looked straight at him while he was laughing, on his big front tooth was a massive piece of spinach. He was not aware of this, he just thought he told a fabulous joke. I seriously started laughing so hard, his friends were trying to get the words out to him that he had food in his teeth all they could do was point. When he finally figured it out he was mortified. I was a little embarrassed for him, poor kid. This isn't the end of the date though there's more...

We head to the laser show, and can I tell you, I was so glad that I got to wear 3d glasses. It meant I could sleep and he would have no idea! So I tried to sleep but I kept thinking he would figure it out, so i would rest one eye at a time, remember I took NyQuil before I left. On our way home we made a stop at a gas station to fuel up, Wes goes inside and buys like 3 candy bars...and eats them all in front of me...didn't even offer me one....I wouldn't have excepted because heaven forbid he see me eat candy....but I was so mad he didn't offer. The rest of the ride I fell asleep and didn;t even care if he saw, I don't think he did, cause he was enjoying his TREATS. So I am the first to be dropped off, when we pulled up to my house it was about 2 am, I looked right at him and said "You don't need to walk me to the door"....he gave me this stunned look, like he was scared of me...and I went in, shut the door and thought to myself thank goodness that is over!

And here we are 12 yrs 3 kids later....happily ever after ...a weird 1st date;) So this picture I am posting is actually on our 1 year anniversary, we were sealed in the Logan Temple this day. We don't look much older than we did the day we got married.....time for h's meds ~night E