hum...

Well, I am thinking it has been a while. Things have been kind of a struggle lately. I can't really put my finger on it, but I believe it is still all coming from just dealing with the shock, loss and trauma of the tornado. Even as I write this I feel negative vibes because I know there are people who read my blog and just think get over it already. My thoughts to those are....your world has just kept on going, and my world in essence has still been spinning around that day in May 08.

It is something we are so sick of regurgitating but something that takes healing and lots of time. I think the reason I haven't blogged lately is because I really only like to blog happy positive things, and unfortunately this battle I face on a daily basis sometimes makes it hard to be positive all the time. I am breaking down tonight though because I know some of my readers who care are wondering where I have been.

It is really hard to heal when talking about what I went through is such taboo. I sit here in physical pain just thinking about it. And yet there are still people out there that judge me and my children when they hear us talk about it. Gosh it hurts. Recently there was a storm and we happened to be somewhere with a group of people and Hayden came in and made a few comments about the storm and how he was concerned. 2 grown adults looked at each other and rolled their eyes at him not knowing I saw. These people should know better.My son lives in terror everyday...for heaven sake I dream of trying to protect my family from a catastrophe every other night. just last week I was up all night because of the thunder...he is 11 years old shame on you for judging him.

This blog is really all I have, this blog is how I get my feelings out....and yet I still have to deal with ill will because of it. I have considered many alternatives. Going private, starting a new blog that no one knows about... but, I know I have readers that really do care and they far out weigh the ones who don't. I am grateful for my good friends and hope to make more. This is just a small taste of my world, I am so grateful for prayer because that is what is keeping me going. That is what gives me hope that my kids will be OK, that this event in their lives won't hurt them in a negative way, hopefully we will all come out stronger. God Bless you all and stay safe ~E

The other night Hayden had one of his good buddies sleep over in the tent with him. I think they had fun. I was worried they wouldn't make it all night because at 1 am they were all still talking VERY LOUD! To my surprise I woke up in the morning to them laughing and still outside! The boys were so kind to let Graice sleep out with them. It really made her feel good. It was so nice to hear them having so much fun.

I have really struggled this summer with my energy level and I feel like I have let my kids down. I feel bad because I am definitely not the fun Mom who throws the big parties, I just hope nights like the other are memorable for my kids. I did go out and hang with them for a while and play cards, they were all really good poker players!

That's all for now, we have chores to do ~E

Finally...

My house has been ripped up for over a month! It hasn't' made summer very easy for any of us. We were without the oven for 16 days! BUT, I am so happy to report that the end is near! Our laundry room that we added off the kitchen just needs some outlets finished and light fixtures put in. All my wood flooring is done! And, Wes and I got the painting finished. I am so excited. We just need to paint a little more trim, some doors and move some more furniture! hallelujah, maybe things will get back to normal! I still have deco to do, but that is the fun part and it takes time....sometimes years especially when you are starting from scratch;-)

Splish Splash

Sophie Chillin'



Gracie drying off with Oscar!



Sophie being amazed with her toy!



Little Miss Attitude!



Sisters!



Posing for Dad!





Yesterday I had lots of errands to run so Wes stayed behind with the kids. He decided it would be fun to fill up the pool and have a swim. He said it was the best time! Bth girls loved it and it only took Sophie a few minutes to get used to the water! What a great Dad he is to do this with the Girls!