Find your WHY

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WHY.

When setting big scary goals, of any kind, you MUST have a WHY. What is a why? Well it’s that reason for digging deep. Its what you picture at the finish line that makes the completion of your goal worth all the effort. Your why must evoke emotions that stir your soul and give whatever your goal is, meaning and purpose.

I had my first child when I was 20. I gained 60 lbs with that pregnancy and more during postpartum. I did the same with my second baby and before I knew it I had spent 13 years living with Morbid Obesity.  More than a decade I lived with the feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and sadness. Consequently my children lived with a Mother in their younger years who, couldn’t run and play with them. I don’t know what they noticed, but I know I felt awful about it.

When I was 30 I was surprised to find out I was expecting another baby. I was scared. Not just about the weight gain, but also I was 10 years older than I was when I had my first and even heavier. I couldn’t imagine how I could be a Mother to this baby when I barely made it with my other two!  Having young kids is physically taxing no matter what shape you are in.

THIS is where I found my WHY. It wasn’t until baby number three was 2 though, that I really started to do something about it. From that time until now, three years have passed, 125 lbs are gone and I have thought about my WHY almost everyday of this Journey to health and wellness that continues on a daily basis.

My WHY is easy. I want to be physically and emotionally fit because of my children. I want to give them the BEST of ME. I want them to be proud of who I am, what I have done and what I will continue to do. I hope that they will find strength in my journey, so that when they need to find their own WHY, they can. 

Find your WHY, then go get that goal.....

~E

Shame

How do you talk to yourself? Do you Shame yourself? The before picture of me is very painful to look at. I can feel how awful that girl feels, I can feel the shame that she felt for being an obese person. And I have to admit that posting this picture is hard because I feel so much shame knowing that, that girl was me. However, if you watch this video of one of my favorite researchers and authors, Brene Brown you will learn why posting the picture helps me to release the shame.

Dr. Brené Brown: "Shame Is Lethal"

Shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brené Brown says shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It's the most primitive human emotion we all feel—and the one no one wants to talk about. If left to its own devices, Dr. Brown says, shame can destroy lives. Watch as she reveals the three things shame requires to grow—and the one thing that can stop shame in its tracks.

hello? hi? remember me?

It's been 2 years since my last blog post and a lot has happened. I always knew I would pick it back up and what was supposed to be a short break turned out to be a long leave of absence. It would take a long time to catch this blog up and bring it up to date; therefore I won't do it all at once, just day by day.

In the past I have used this blog as a journal for my family, that won't change to much. I also used it for therapy, a place to vent, to write, and to reflect, that will all stay the same as well. BUT, my main focus will be on my journey to health and fitness that began many years ago and is ongoing now, and will continue to keep moving forward.

For now, I am signing out with a picture of me. On the left, I weigh approximately 260 ( not my highest weight ) and the picture on the right is of me weighing somewhere around 180 (there is even less of me now). This picture represents the last two years of my life.

~E