Keep On, Keepin' On.

I am very tired! Being a single Mom this week has been challenging! Thank Heavens Wes will be home tomorrow night! Bless all the single parents in the world, seriously what a hard job. Everyday this week I faced a different obstacle. But, that being said, each one has taught me a lesson about myself. At the present time I am having to sensor myself because recently my blog has been used against me, not only do I have to worry about strangers reading it but also people I know waiting for me to slip up once so they can swoop in and cause trouble. How sad. Enough said.

Weight Watchers this week has helped me maintain. I am so glad. Because of some issues going on this week I would have turned to food if not for Weight Watchers. However I did struggle Tuesday and blew all 35 weekly points. This means anything extra this week has to come from exercise points. No big deal, I can do it.

H1N1 Flu, pandemic....really? I am thinking why not just shut all schools down for 10 days. I feel like between the Government and the media...who do you trust. I feel like just keeping my kids home, I don't want the flu. Too bad the kids are core testing this week and next! I left Wes a text today and told him to rent a car and drive home. I don't want him flying on a plane! I think he'll fly anyway. Am I the only one feeling this way?

May 1st is just around the corner, like less than 2 hours away! Oh. My. Heck. It's been almost a year since the Tornado. The days are feeling strange because I am remembering exactly what we did each day a year ago. It is so strange, it's like I am counting down. We are starting to think of ideas about how we will commemorate the day (May 25). I think we will plant a tree or something along those lines. Just thinking about it puts a lump in my throat. The day brought so much depth to our lives, I can't even begin to explain the feelings I have right now. Because of that day, I live my life so much differently than I did before. It's kind of ,before I was living in 2-d. And now I am living life in 3-D. That's the best I can explain it. Everything has taken on new meaning to me. Family, unconditional love, pain, material wants and needs. True Friends, compassion, service, sadness, strength, testimony, life, prayer, Mother nature, the power to endure. It's all been magnified one way or another and I am so very grateful for that. I love and live intensely now because I know it can all be taken away so quickly. At the end of the day the most important thing is not the car you drive, how big your house is, the amount of money you have in the bank or not in the bank. It's all about how you lived your life that day in Comparison to Christ. I am not perfect, I have so much more to learn. I am grateful for everyday I have to keep on keepin' on. ~E

The Claw....and the Laws of Attraction.

Whenever we go to a store with a claw machine Hayden usually takes a stab at winning something for Gracie. And 70% of the time he does! The other night we all walked out of Smiths Marketplace and there was a claw! We gave Hayden 2 bucks to take a try. Sure enough...boom he gets a stuffed animal! He still had another dollar left, so why not try again? BOOM..he got another stuffed animal!

Lately I have been doing a lot of positive affirmations. For example: I am telling myself how abundant my life is in all aspects. The trick is to believe what you are saying. It has been proven time and time again that we are what we think.

Hayden proved the theory. He knew he would get a stuffed animal. And he received the toys with abundance! He always makes things so interesting. Who says the parents are the wise ones? Well kids can definitely humble us! ~E

Gracie!

My little girl is 8! Where does the time go? Gracie surprises us everyday. She is funny, witty, quietly mischievous, head strong and very sweet. There is no doubt about the fact that she is her own person. Her Grandparents are her special friends, she would choose to play with any of them over any of her friends. She is very opinionated when it comes to her hair. When I am fixing it, it's her way or the highway. She always has something to say and has been that way since the day she was born. When she was delivered the Doctors thought they were delivering a dead baby.... but when they pulled her out she wailed! In my mind she was wailing... Hey! Here I am don't let looks deceive you. I may be small but I have a big spirit! We love her and can't imagine life without her!

8 Questions Answered By Gracie!

What is the best thing that happened to you this past year? Getting my new bike.

What is the most exciting thing about turning 8? I get to be baptized!

What is your favorite movie? Girls Just Want To Have Fun!

What is your favorite music to listen to? Hannah Montana.

Who are your best friends?  My cousins.

What is your favorite thing to do? Play piano.

Where do you like to eat? Iggys

What do you want to be when you grow up? A singer!

a few pics and other random things

It's Friday!! I am so glad. I am going to a cabin in Idaho with some friends in a few hours. We are going to eat lots of healthy food and maybe a little bit of not-so-healthy food. I think we will play a lot of cards and do tons of chatting. Wes is going to hold down the fort while I am gone!

I am posting some pics of last weekend of my visit to My sisters. The picture of the popcorn has a little story behind it. She purchased that popcorn popper and we decided to test it out. Well, her little boys have never seen popcorn popped. They were mesmerized. The funny part is that Nat or I had never popped popcorn in a machine like that before. So with Taylor standing right next to it, it started to overflow, we all started screaming, and I started taking pics. Very funny to say the least.

Before I end my post I just want to do a little "Thankful" list, because it is always good to look at to put life and whats important in perspective.

1. I am thankful for my Kids. They are all so smart, and so mature beyond their years.

2. I am thankful for my family....Mom, Chuck, Dad, Leilani, Amber and Natelli. They are all great examples of unconditional love.

3. I am thankful for good friends who do things for me because they care....not out of duty.

4. I am thankful for my trials and the growth they have given me. I am thankful for the people who have risen to the occasion during our hard times. Trials can bring out the worst in people, but for the most part we saw how good people can be.

5. I am thankful for my faith In Jesus Christ, and in his Gospel.

Hope you all can make a quick list of what you are thankful for. ~E

venting

 

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone." 
— Bill Cosby

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." 
— George Burns

Smiling

My soul is smiling about so many things today. I am not sure where to start. I know that I won't get through it all because I get tired of typing and I am staring at 4 baskets of laundry to fold. But here goes....

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you
really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have
lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must
do the thing you think you cannot do." — Eleanor
Roosevelt

This quote is the anthem of my life right now. I do feel like I have stared many challenges down and not only survived them but am a better person because of them. In a previous post I mentioned one of my biggest challenges is my weight. I am happy to report that today was another weigh in and I am down another 2.4, 7 lbs all together. If you add in all the water weight gains and losses its closer to 22 lbs. I am so happy about this. Previously when I did Weight Watchers, I didn't have the same success. I did it for 9 months. I stayed on a strict plan. But I only lost a total of 5 lbs. There are many reasons why this time around has been better.

1: My Thyroid has been regulated much better. I am now on a comfortable dose of meds. Before My doc was still experimenting.

2:This time around I am not letting the fear of not losing weight get to me. Before I was always so scared right before Weigh In. I truly believe I let fear take me over. This time I KNOW I have it handled. I am in control of me not my weight. i visited with an old Friend recently. And she likened my experience of the Tornado to a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I thought it was a very good analogy. Because I do feel stronger in many ways. Spiritually- because I have seen so many miracles happen right before my eyes. I know that God has the power to do all things. And if I ask for help he will help. Mentally- In my life I have had this thought process that if certain things were to happen, I would just lay down and die. This is so far from the truth. In those situations I have really had to dig deep, and in the end I have come out stronger. All these things make weight loss a piece of cake.

I am smiling today for many reasons, I am so grateful for today. I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to ramble on this Blog of mine. For those of you who read my rambling musings, thank you. I hope you all can be as excited about today as I am. ~E

Praying For Dad

It was my turn to teach in Young Women's(a youth program in my church). I had little time to prepare for it because I was away all weekend and yesterday i decided to switch lessons after I had already prepared the other. I had a very strong impression that I needed to switch and I thought it for a different reason than I think now.

The lesson was titled "Supporting and Sustaining The Priesthood" in out church men who are worthy are given the priesthood. Supporting it would be supporting our church leaders and family leaders (dad). Taking it a little further you can think about it as supporting fathers, husbands, brothers....I read a story that kind of sparked some feelings in me and I would like to share it. The Man being talked about was a General authority and later a President of my church.

“The first time [I came] to the Salt Lake Tabernacle for a general conference of the Church I was awed by the immensity of the building, but even more by the room-filling presence of the General Authorities who were assembled there.
“In my growing-up years, many of them had visited our small branch in Montana. We had no television, nor could we receive conference on the radio. So we looked forward to each visit as a special blessing. They had, it seemed to me, a power and faith above other men.
“Then on [that] April day … I discovered one source of a General Authority’s strength.
“I was seated with the six children of Elder Ezra Taft Benson, one of whom was my college roommate. My interest heightened when President McKay arose and announced the next speaker. I watched respectfully as Elder Benson, whom I had not yet met, walked toward the microphone. He was a big man, well over six feet tall. He was a man with a Ph.D., a man internationally known as the United States Secretary of Agriculture and a special witness of the Lord, a man who seemed serene and sure, one who had addressed audiences throughout the world. Suddenly a hand touched my arm. A little girl leaned toward me and whispered urgently, ‘Pray for Dad.’
“Somewhat startled, I thought, ‘This message is being passed down the row, and I am to pass it on. Shall I say, “Pray for Elder Benson”? Shall I say, “You’re supposed to say a prayer for your father”?’ Sensing the immediate need to act, I leaned over and whispered simply, ‘Pray for Dad.’
“I watched that whisper move along the row to where Sister Benson sat, her head already bowed.
“Many times since that day I have remembered that message—Pray for Dad, the patriarch of the home. Pray for him as he serves as district president or home teacher. Pray for him when he becomes executive secretary of a civic group, when his business flourishes, or when he takes a cut in salary. Pray as he gives counsel in family home evening. Pray for Dad who works long hours so that Jerold can go on a mission and Diane can go to college. Pray for him as he speaks in sacrament meeting or gives Mother a blessing that she might
be made well again. Pray as he baptizes William or gives a tiny, newborn baby a name and a father’s blessing. And in the evening, should he come home tired or discouraged, pray for him. Pray for Dad in all that he might do—the small things and the great.
“As years have passed, general conferences have come and gone, and each time President Benson has stood to speak, I have thought, ‘His children, who are scattered across the continent, are united now in prayer for their father.’
“And I have come to believe that the brief message that passed along the row … years ago is the most important message a family can share. What extraordinary power and faith any man can have to meet the daily challenge of his life if somewhere in the world his daughter or son is whispering, ‘Pray for Dad’ ” (Elaine S. McKay, “Pray for Dad,” New Era, June 1975, p. 33).

After I read this story we all started to discuss. What if we all started praying for our Fathers. Most of us have them right? I believe, as most of you know, that each person has a great power with in them to change things for the good through prayer. If we all prayed for our Fathers maybe the world would start to heal, economically, spiritually, environmentally....the possibilities are endless.....something to seriously think about I think. God bless you all and your Fathers ~E

Me and the Girls!

So I am heading down to my sister Natelli's today. I am taking Gracie and Sophie with me! We are all very excited to visit with Nat and her 3 little boys. I am also way happy to be meeting up with one of my very best friends from High School, who is also my cousin, Hayley. I have not seen her in 10 yrs. When we were together there was never a dull moment. I can't wait to catch up!

Other good news on the home front, I have lost all that darn water I was retaining and my weight is back on track. I think, will I am sure that the weight gain over the weekend was from the Ham I ate on Easter. Too much sodium. Thank heavens, I am actually down all the water weight and an additional 0.5 lbs. YES! I do however need to keep it real, I still need to be doing better on my exercising.

I gotta run. I have to take both Girls to the doctor this morning before we head out. They both seem to have ear infections. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ~E

PS

The Sun is coming out of the clouds:)

Lately...

Lately...

• I've been thinking a lot, many things roll through my mind through out my day.
• I've been having the same crappy dreams and I wake up emotionally jolted. I am either trying to keep my kids safe from a storm, looking for someone who is lost and desperately wants me to find them yet i have no idea who I am looking for, or not graduating from high school. Any psychologists that want to weigh in, feel free.
• Sophie has been quite the mess maker. She loves to "un-pack" things. Drawers, laundry baskets, the recycle bin... you name she un-packs it.
• I have been so grateful for Sophie. I almost didn't have her.
• I am wondering if the North and South poles should just move to Utah, that way they would stop melting (ice caps). Cause seems like winter is lasting all year long.
• Wes and I have not gotten to sleep before 1 am because we have so much to talk about. It really nice... but I get really sleepy in the day time.
• Gracie has a stomach ache that won't go away.
• I have really wanted to play cards.
• The Office on Thursday nights, has not been very funny?.
• But, Samantha who is back on television and it is.
• I have been enjoying reading in the bath.
• My kids have done a great job at doing their chores!
• Sophie is teething... can you say ornery?
• I've been thinking I should go back to school.
• Weight Watchers is making life easier
• Wes has been feeling better.
• I've seen my grandparents 2 times in less than a week.
• My blog has been getting more attention from me
• I've been blessed with great friends.
• The urge to go on another vacation keeps nagging at my soul
• I have trying really hard not to be judgmental towards others, I think I am doing pretty well.
• I've been wondering why I always have the urge to get a new car in the spring? I just keep reminding myself that I love my car because it is paid for.
• I am feeling hope, just in general. Down in my soul, I feel like good things are ahead.

Lately ~E

Weight Watchers

I am now on my 4th week. And the fun part of it is wearing off, and now I find myself trying to make the real adjustment. The one that turns into a lifestyle rather than a diet. It's not easy. Weigh in was yesterday and because of the timing I am up almost all that I had lost in 4 weeks. It was my first gain and not easy. But, what I have to remind myself is this is weight I gain each month and I will loose. So had I not lost it, I would potentially be weighing in 10lbs more than I am today. I have to stay positive, I struggle with that. My true nature is a realist, Wes calls it Debbie Downer. So I just have to keep looking forward. Last night I was so down about it I just wanted to give up. So I had to start thinking about what motivates me, why I want my old self back. I thought i would list them.

1: I am getting tired of being invisible. When I go out in public, people don't even see me.

2: I really want to run in a marathon.

3:I want to live until I am 90.

4: I want to do a cartwheel.

5: I would like to put on a shirt and jeans without even thinking about it. Right now I take great care in looking at the styles of clothes that I pick and it really is a chore to get dressed everyday.

6: I want my kids to be proud of me.

7:I want to wear a swimming suit again.

There are many more but these are just a few for me to look back and read when I start thinking about giving up. ~E

Spring Break

It's winding down. Today is the last day of the break for the kids, and on a more literal note for the weather as well. We are going to be getting snow this week, argggha. Oh well, when you live in the desert it is always good to get as much moisture as possible. I won't complain anymore.

Here is a little rundown of the our spring break and Easter.

Thursday was just a lazy day around here, we didn't do much. The kids played with their friends and enjoyed that. It was a rather dreary day. I enjoyed a long hot bath and a book, kind of a way to treat myself.

Friday we packed up and headed to Layton to see my Grandparents. I am so grateful we did. Life gets so busy with day to day things and sometimes the most important things get pushed to the side. I hate admitting that because I am somewhat proud. Unfortunately visiting my Grandparents is one of those things that I sadly haven't done enough.

Recently my Grandpa has been diagnosed with a very serious illness. We told our kids and they are devastated. When we arrived at their house Hayden sat right by Grandpa and loved every second of it. When we got in the car to leave both of my kids said they weren't ready to go. They were both very concerned that they might not see Grandpa again, but, I reassured them they would. Hayden told us that he plans on praying for him several times a day. He also said that if Grandpa is not cured he is going to dedicate his life to finding the cure and he simply said " I will find the cure for Cancer". This brought a tear to my eye, because he was very Stearn. And I truly believe that this boy can make a huge difference and is destined to do so. I am biased because I am his Mother, but many , many people have seen it too. He is a genius and there is something about his essence that testifies that he has a mission, a purpose and he will accomplish it. Friday was a perfect day even if we had to eat at Chucky Cheese.

Saturday the kids just played with friends. While the Easter Bunny made last minute preparations. Hayden went to the Ward Lasagna cook off and lets just say at 3 am his body decided he had too much lasagna, now my entry way carpet will never be the same.

Sunday the Easter Bunny came and left too much, again. every year I try to tell him not to leave so much. But oh well. Wes took Gracie to church and I stayed home with Hayden and Sophie. Then we attended some family parties.

We had a great weekend and hope ya'll did too. Now we can look forward to the 4th of July. Time still seams to fly. Enjoy your day ~E

A Poor Wafering Man of Grief

This is lyric to the song in the Video that I am posting below

1. A poor wayfaring man of grief
Hath often crossed me on my way,
Who sued so humbly for relief
That I could never answer Nay:
I had not power to ask his name,
Whither he went or whence he came;
Yet there was something in his eye
That won my love, I know not why.

2. Once when my scanty meal was spread,
He entered; not a word he spake;
Just perishing for want of bread;
I gave him all: he blessed it, brake;
And ate, but gave me part again;
Mine was an angel's portion then,
For while I fed with eager haste,
The crust was manna to my taste.

3. I spied him where a fountain burst
Clear from the rock; - his strength was gone;
The heedless water mocked his thirst,
He heard it, saw it, hurrying on:
I ran and raised the sufferer up,
Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,
Dipped and returned it running o'er;
I drank, and never thirsted more.

4. 'Twas night, the floods were out, it blew
A winter hurricane aloof;
I heard his voice abroad, and flew
To bid him welcome to my roof:
I warmed, I clothed, I cheered my guest,
I laid him on my couch to rest,
Then made the earth my bed, and seemed
In Eden's garden while I dreamed.

5. Stript, wounded beaten, nigh to death,
I found him by the highway side;
I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,
Revived his spirit, and supplied
Wine, oil, refreshment; he was healed;
I had, myself, a wound concealed,
But from that hour forgot the smart,
And peace bound up my broken heart.

6. In prison I saw him next, - condemned
To meet a traitor's doom at morn;
The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,
And honoured him mid'st shame and scorn:
My friendship's utmost zeal to try,
He asked - if I for him would die;
The flesh was weak, my blood ran chill,
But the free Spirit cried, "I will."

7. Then in a moment to my view,
The stranger started from disguise;
The tokens in his hands I knew,
My Saviour stood before mine eyes;
He spake - and my poor name he named. -
"Of me thou hast not been ashamed.
"These deeds shall thy memorial be;
"Fear not, thou didst them unto me."

Easter

CAKE!

Lots of cake. Last night for our YW church activity we were taught cake decorating. Juli invited Tate Harris to come and demonstrate several how to make different frosting's. Then everyone got to decorate the cake they brought. It was wild. Tate is very talented in the kitchen and all in all we learned a lot. BUT, I think if any of the girls want to be professional cake decorators they will need to practice...LOL. I took several photos, the one of the cake in the garbage would be mine. I couldn't put my Weight Watcher program at risk so I had to throw it away. Please don't think I am wasteful, I had to do it. I did however have a piece of cheesecake that Tate demonstrated. It was fabulous, and I had the points saved up to eat it. We all had a great time. It's always fun to hang out with 13 teenage girls, never a dull moment. ~E

Ever Wish Life Were A Little More Slow Pace?

These are photos from Disney's Animal Kingdom. We loved the Safari ride. It's always fun to see animals in somewhat of a natural state. I have days when I would love to trade places with one of these creatures. But only for a day, life would get pretty boring if you just had to eat and sleep all day, and wave to the occasional tourist.

I am so excited that it might be spring soon (crossing my fingers). Gracie, Sophie and I went for a short walk last night and it was wonderful. One of my favorite things in the spring and summer are evening walks. I can't wait!

We have had more sad news lately, this time about my Grandpa who is ill. I hate feeling so helpless in these situations. I am grateful for prayer, and the power that it holds. I know prayers are listened to and carefully answered. I have been trying to make it a habbit as of late to listen. Listen after I pray, for confirmation. I think sometimes I pray and forget to listen for the answer.

In the spirit of the upcoming week of Easter....

Wish I were here...

Quick update and few more pics

Wes had a pretty miserable night...who knew pain killers could make a person vomit so much? I am sitting here quite restless waiting for a call from the doctor, because Wes' pain is through the roof. I was blessed in the middle of all the Challenges of yesterday, by some pretty special people. My Mother -in- Law came down yesterday morning (while I was with Wes at the hospital) and took care of my kids and got them off to school which I was so grateful for, then she went the extra mile (more like 5) and did a huge stack of dishes that was sitting in my kitchen. What she didn't know was that the whole time Wes was in surgery and all the way home I was dreading that stack of dishes. Then last night my good friend and her husband brought us the most delicious dinner, so good. My kids were so happy to be eating something that wasn't mac and cheese. And I was all warm and fuzzy inside because they weren't eating mac and cheese ;) My hope is that these people will be blessed for the way that they blessed my life yesterday.

Here are a few more pics, they are random. They are all of our vacation though. ~E

Finally taking time to blog

I have been wanting to sit down and blog for days, but it just hasn't happened. Here is a real quick rundown of what's happening around here first.

Wes had surgery today, all went well and he should be up and around Monday or Tuesday. He was very brave.... ;) LOL.

As I might have mentioned I started weight watchers for the 3rd time on March 17th. I have been doing good with it. I have not had a bad day yet. I am down 4.5 pounds, so that is awesome. the other times I never could losesweight, but I was fit and felt very healthy. I have added a supplement to my diet it is called ASEA water. It helps to repair the cellular damage in my body. i truly feel like this is why my body is allowing the weight loss. My thyroid is practically dead, and I have what is called PCOS. Also, type 2 Diabetes. All of these things work against my me the weight loss, so when I find something that helps I am pleased. Don't get me wrong, the water is not for weight loss. Anyway I am over the moon to have 4.5 pounds gone forever.

I keep telling myself....Self, you can do this. You have been through many struggles. Divorced Parents, Financial woes, 3 high risk pregnancies, oh, and of course moving 4 times in the last year and surviving an ef5 tornado that destroyed everything I own. Self loosing weight will be a piece of cake compared to the rest of this. Consider it gone.

Isn't it Fabulous that I talk to myself?! Everyone does, I just admit it! Moving on....FLORIDA.

We had a great time on Vacation. It was our first time to Florida. Not really what I expected, very beautiful place. I hadn't ever been to anywhere Tropic so that was fun. We traveled during a week that the Midwest was being pummeled with storms. Our plane ride was the most thrilling ride we had. I don't think we will ever get Hayden on a plane again. can you say hyperventilate...yes he did many times. We stayed in a quiet condo development, it was nice. It had to big bedrooms, 2 big bathrooms, stone counter tops, a full kitchen, and a loft. It was really nice to have so much room. We visited Sea World the first day. It was our first visit to any sea world and we all enjoyed it. However, I did get a little jealous of the people who worked with the animals there. growing up I always wanted to be a marine biologist. Seeing them in person and watching the Shamu show brought a small tear to my eye, it is a truly beautiful show.

That is all for now my baby is yelling at me and Wes looks like he is going to heave. enjoy the pics ~E