Yes, It's True.

I did do the happy dance this morning after everyone left!!! It was just me and Sophie all day long. I kind of felt guilty that I was so happy, but, when I realized I had been smiling all day... eh-  I was OK!  Sophie on the other hand was devastated. She whined and cried and went room to room looking for her "playmates."  Kind of sad and funny at the same time :)

My kids were so excited to go to school today, they had really started to get bored. They both woke up with much time to spare. Hayden says he couldn't sleep all night because he kept having dreams that he forgot his locker combination and forgot to wear his pants. I guess he was a little nervous, I never would have suspected. I on the other hand was so nervous for his first day of middle school you would have thought I was going...a Mothers love, right?

Gracie left for school so fast this morning when I went to take the picture of her on her bike, by the time I hit the button she was already gone, so I got a great picture of the mail box! She came home all smiles and said she made 2 new friends. She can't wait to get homework, loves her locker but lunch was AWFUL.

I am so happy to report that we all survived the first day of school. Bring on the rest of the year! To celebrate I even made brownies for tonight ( I hardly ever bake sweets, they are not good for you ; { )  

That's all for now ~E

Brownies:

1 lb butter 4 c suger 3 c flour 8 eggs 3/4 c powder baking chocolate pinch of salt 2 tsp vanilla I bake in my large pampered chef bar pan at 350 for 30 min or until the top "Cracks" enjoy.

Fudge Frosting:

Melt- 1 cube butter, 3  Tablespoons Powder baking Chocolate, 2 Tablespoons corn syrup.

Add- 2 cups suger, 1 teaspoon vanilla, a pinch of salt

You may also add milk if it is too thick.

Gearing Up.

Summer is coming to a close. School starts on Thursday (strange day to start?). I am still in denial that I am about to have a child in middle school. Just yesterday he was running around in a diaper with a big smile all the time!

 Oh my Heavens do I hope he has a better middle school experience than I did.  Maybe it is just one of those mandatory things in life "Middle School Must Suck for All." Who knows. 

 Hayden actually seems pretty calm and collected about it. Wes took him up to White Pine and they walked his schedule, I think he will be just fine. We and his psychologist had a few apprehensions about him going to a school so far away, as apposed to one that was closer.  After a lot of thinking, pondering, and praying we decided to go ahead and have Hayden go to the school he is in the boundaries to. It could turn out to be just fine, and if he does have some psychological break down we can always reevaluate. On a side note. it was amazing how many people had an opinion on weather he should be able to switch schools to a closer school or go to the one he was assigned to.  As if they were the ones in charge, oh well it's done and over for now.

I would like to thank all of you for your comments and emails in support of me. I am so grateful for any words of encouragement. Seriously, after I post an entry like that I always wonder if I am just a raving lunatic, it means so much to have my feelings validated in a way. 

Thanks for all the positive vibes! Hugs to all!

So the last couple of weeks have been CRAZY. On one hand I am sad that it is the end of August, but on the other I love Fall! 

 Last Wednesday I gave a fireside to a girls camp before their testimony meeting. I didn't know anyone there, and I have been dreading it all summer. I have mentioned it before, but a few months ago I spoke in church and did horrific, so I was really nervous for this.  I am pleased to report that this went much better. I will never get used to talking about what happened, mostly because I still can't believe it happened.  HELLO a tornado wiped my material world off the face of the earth... so bazaar.  But every time I speak about it to a group of people, I remember a new miracle that I was blessed with, a Tender Mercy from my Heavenly Father. I walked away from the campsite last week feeling overwhelmed with peace, and the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me, my family and our needs sometimes before we even have time to ask for help. I am blessed, and I am so very grateful.

We are in the last week of Tennis, I feel kind of bad because for most of the summer my kids have had to be out the door by 9 am for tennis or swimming, but it has been good for them. I have to think of ways to keep them active. Speaking of activity. My Personal Trainer has gotten married and moved away... so sad, for me, not for her. Our last workout was last Thursday and she tested me. No weight loss I am afraid, she was very surprised...I was not. BUT, on a good note I increased my core strength by half as well as my heart rate recovery time. I increased also in my endurance testing. I learned a lot from her and I know how far I can push myself, I will miss her. Hopefully I will be able to find something that works for me. Weather it's on my own or finding a workout  partner or hiring another personal trainer. Who knows.

Now for an update on my Garden. It has been overtaken by weeds...dang! But there are a lot of green tomatoes just waiting to turn red!! I can't wait to make Salsa and Spaghetti sauce out of them. I have been canning my green beans... there is nothing better than green beans out of the garden! The picture above is of one of my zinnias they too are starting to bloom, oh how pretty they are!

Thats about it for now, the next time I blog my children will be at school... how lovely that will be:) ~E

Dedicated to the Ones I Love....

hum...

Well, I am thinking it has been a while. Things have been kind of a struggle lately. I can't really put my finger on it, but I believe it is still all coming from just dealing with the shock, loss and trauma of the tornado. Even as I write this I feel negative vibes because I know there are people who read my blog and just think get over it already. My thoughts to those are....your world has just kept on going, and my world in essence has still been spinning around that day in May 08.

It is something we are so sick of regurgitating but something that takes healing and lots of time. I think the reason I haven't blogged lately is because I really only like to blog happy positive things, and unfortunately this battle I face on a daily basis sometimes makes it hard to be positive all the time. I am breaking down tonight though because I know some of my readers who care are wondering where I have been.

It is really hard to heal when talking about what I went through is such taboo. I sit here in physical pain just thinking about it. And yet there are still people out there that judge me and my children when they hear us talk about it. Gosh it hurts. Recently there was a storm and we happened to be somewhere with a group of people and Hayden came in and made a few comments about the storm and how he was concerned. 2 grown adults looked at each other and rolled their eyes at him not knowing I saw. These people should know better.My son lives in terror everyday...for heaven sake I dream of trying to protect my family from a catastrophe every other night. just last week I was up all night because of the thunder...he is 11 years old shame on you for judging him.

This blog is really all I have, this blog is how I get my feelings out....and yet I still have to deal with ill will because of it. I have considered many alternatives. Going private, starting a new blog that no one knows about... but, I know I have readers that really do care and they far out weigh the ones who don't. I am grateful for my good friends and hope to make more. This is just a small taste of my world, I am so grateful for prayer because that is what is keeping me going. That is what gives me hope that my kids will be OK, that this event in their lives won't hurt them in a negative way, hopefully we will all come out stronger. God Bless you all and stay safe ~E

The other night Hayden had one of his good buddies sleep over in the tent with him. I think they had fun. I was worried they wouldn't make it all night because at 1 am they were all still talking VERY LOUD! To my surprise I woke up in the morning to them laughing and still outside! The boys were so kind to let Graice sleep out with them. It really made her feel good. It was so nice to hear them having so much fun.

I have really struggled this summer with my energy level and I feel like I have let my kids down. I feel bad because I am definitely not the fun Mom who throws the big parties, I just hope nights like the other are memorable for my kids. I did go out and hang with them for a while and play cards, they were all really good poker players!

That's all for now, we have chores to do ~E

Finally...

My house has been ripped up for over a month! It hasn't' made summer very easy for any of us. We were without the oven for 16 days! BUT, I am so happy to report that the end is near! Our laundry room that we added off the kitchen just needs some outlets finished and light fixtures put in. All my wood flooring is done! And, Wes and I got the painting finished. I am so excited. We just need to paint a little more trim, some doors and move some more furniture! hallelujah, maybe things will get back to normal! I still have deco to do, but that is the fun part and it takes time....sometimes years especially when you are starting from scratch;-)

Splish Splash

Sophie Chillin'



Gracie drying off with Oscar!



Sophie being amazed with her toy!



Little Miss Attitude!



Sisters!



Posing for Dad!





Yesterday I had lots of errands to run so Wes stayed behind with the kids. He decided it would be fun to fill up the pool and have a swim. He said it was the best time! Bth girls loved it and it only took Sophie a few minutes to get used to the water! What a great Dad he is to do this with the Girls!